October is Infertility Awareness Month

I was reminded that October is Infertility Awareness Month. I have been through my own battle of infertility, which you can read about here, and it seriously saddens me how many of my friends are having infertility problems too. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!

It is so hard to want and wish for something that is so profoundly right and good, to want to have children and not be able to have them. Often times I found myself comparing my situation to others or question what is going on. "Why can she get pregnant and I can't?" "She is only 16. Why is she able to have a baby?" "What did I do wrong?" I know and believe that it is truly God's timing in all things. And that if it is right it will happen.

I know it is so hard to sit and wait to be blessed with children. I did it for 8 years, trying, praying and hoping. Honestly, the best thing we can do as women with infertility is to work on us and be as healthy as possible so when it is our time to have a family (however that happens either through natural pregnancy, fertility treatments, surrogacy, or adoption) you are ready and prepared and HEALTHY. And someday, our families will grown and the sound of little feet will pitter and patter in our own homes. Stay strong! Don't lose the faith and believe!

Want to take that first step to getting healthy but don't know where to start? Follow me on FACEBOOK for daily motivation and tips. Send me an email or comment below and we can talk about how you can start. It is never too late to work on you. Use it as your outlet to help yourself feel better. But do it for your body so that it is working the best that it can. I blamed myself for my past miscarriage, saying that I wasn't as healthy as I should have been. And it was hard on me mentally. So put your body first. Babies will come. But you need to work on you first! 

And, of course, be sure to like our FACEBOOK page and follow us on PINTEREST for motivation, clean eating tips, and healthy lifestyle resources.

10 Perfectly Spooktacular No Carve Pumpkins

Time to start decorating the house with autumnal inspired foliage and gourds! I hate carving pumpkins because it is slimy, messy and the smell! Can't stand the smell! So I thought I might try something different this year and still decorate the pumpkins but without carving. Here are some great ideas I found!

Corn Husk Covered Pumpkins - By Midwest Living

Glitter Pumpkin Topiary - By A Diamond In The Stuff

The Tangled Web Pumpkin - By Buzzfeed

The Glitter Pumpkin- By the SITS Girls

The Lacey Pumpkin- By Better homes and Garden

The Painted Pumpkin - By Lil' Luna

The Plaid Pumpkin: By Real Simple

The Mumkin - By Circa Dee

The Patterned Pumpkin - By Country Living

The Pumpkin Family - By blue i style

And, of course, be sure to like our FACEBOOK page and follow us on PINTEREST for motivation, clean eating tips, and healthy lifestyle resources.

Hungry For Change

Weekend documentary, I found a NEW ONE (new to me) that I haven't seen! You can find it on Netflix, Amazon Prime Videos, and on Hulu! Check it out and let me know what you think of it! Have you already seen it? Did it change the way you look at what you eat???

Check out the trailer!

And, of course, be sure to like our FACEBOOK page and follow us on PINTEREST for motivation, clean eating tips, and healthy lifestyle resources.

Dreaming

You all know I am all about following your dreams, but I feel like I didn't get any sleep last night because all I did was dream! Anyone else having a rolling movie going on while they sleep to the point they feel like they never slept??? Today is going to be a long day! 

But what dreams you have to pursue, follow those with a passion and determination stronger than anything else and magic will happen!


And, of course, be sure to like our FACEBOOK page and follow us on PINTEREST for motivation, clean eating tips, and healthy lifestyle resources.

I'm Too Fat???

I hear this all the time from people that they think that they are too heavy or too out of shape, or too much out of practice. Or this or that. I promise you NO YOU ARE NOT!  You can do anything you really want to do. If I had waited until I was thinner to start running then I still would be waiting. There are times when I do a stretch that I can't reach it because my belly fat gets in the way. Does it stop me from doing what I need to be doing? NOPE. I just do as much as I can and someday I won't have that belly fat stopping me.

I saw this article the other day about this young lady who calls herself the "Fat Femme" found on Instagram. She is a kick butt yoga lover. I have no idea what her size it, but for me I was too scared to do yoga because I thought I wasn't thin enough or fit enough. But check her out! She is killing it! She didn't let her size get in her way. Seriously go look at her Instagram and see how amazing she is! Inspiration right there.

Here we have another girl that calls herself the Fat Girl Runner. And she was on NBC Nightly News about her story.

The moral of the story is, YOU have to decide when you are ready and you don't let anything stand in your way. Nothing stopping you. You just go for it. As safely as possible of course. But you do it. As always before you start a new exercise routine get the a-okay from your doc so that they are on board with what you are doing. They can run a blood panel too on you to see what hormones are in balance and what not and give you starting numbers with your cholesterol and such. And that way you can get checked up again after some time of changing your life and see what the change has done for you.

It is worth it to start now. Don't put it off until you are more comfortable with yourself. Because you might not start if you do that. And I always hated this saying but it really is true you guys! "If I can do it, so can you!" You just have to find that drive. That passion. Support and motivation. And once you do, you will be unstoppable!

Check out this article about plus sized running models used recently in Woman's Running. And guys this isn't about running, this is about lifting weights, workout classes, cycling, yoga, pilates, ultimate frisbee. ANYTHING! You can do ANYTHING!


And, of course, be sure to like our FACEBOOK page and follow us on PINTEREST for motivation, clean eating tips, and healthy lifestyle resources.

It's OCTOBER!

I love October so much! Growing up it was the month that we could start wearing sweatshirts in the mornings because it was actually a little chilly. In high school it was also the month where in marching band we actually opted to keep our band jackets on because it was a little cold at the football games.

It is all about warm cozy fires, apple picking, corn maze fun having, pumpkin everything (though I am not a pumpkin fan, the hubs sure is!), changing leaves, foggy mornings, hot apple cider, tricks and treats and of course my favorite thing of all, HALLOWEEN! It's my second favorite holiday next to Christmas. It is the day that I can be anyone I want to be! A princess, a pirate, a maiden. Anyone! You all probably know by now that I love to dress up every year, and finally we are doing family themed costumes! (Thanks to Mason joining the family!)

2 years ago we announced our pregnancy with this...

Last year we were a family of pirates! Isn't that parrot cute?!?

And this year...we are already in charge of a small herd of dinosaurs might as well make the kids dress the part! I am so excited and Mason CAN NOT WAIT for his costume to get here. Every day he asks, "is my costume here yet???" Collin's arrived last week so Mason is super jealous!

What fun halloween things do you do as a family?

Also if you are ready to get fit before the holidays even start and want to join me for the October health and fitness support group, fill out this form HERE! I am going to have fall specific clean eating recipes, fun Halloween activities to help you stay healthy before the hoards of ghouls and goblins knock on your door this year! Let's slim down before the holidays together!


And, of course, be sure to like our FACEBOOK page and follow us on PINTEREST for motivation, clean eating tips, and healthy lifestyle resources.

PCOS Awareness Month

I have been so hesitant to share what the actual cause of my infertility really is. I don't know why, considering I know so many women that are plagued with this syndrome and honestly I am just kicking myself right now. September was PCOS awareness month. That is the whole reason why I suffer from infertility. And it sucks. There are different types of PCOS infertility because trust me, talking with my friends we only one or two things in common with our infertility problems.

So my specific problem is that I do have polycystic ovaries. The docs call it a "ring of pearls" around both ovaries. Which make it difficult for me to get pregnant. I basically don't ovulate. At least I never did before I got pregnant with Mason. Hence why it took 8 years to get pregnant with him. Through fertility drugs. I also don't produce the hormones to tell my body, "HEY IT IS TIME TO MAKE AN EGG!" and "Hey it is time to release an egg!" Again this was all before Mason came around. What is interesting about pregnancies and PCOS is that pregnancies can jump start the system to functioning properly again. Which is what it did for me. But I have still had problems along the way with 3 miscarriages now.

Some facts I know about PCOS:

~Women with PCOS often have excess facial hair. Only because we have a hormone imbalance. Oh yeah, I have that too! I produce too much testosterone. Hence why I can squat my husband's weight easily! I am one strong cookie! and why I can build muscle easier than women without the syndrome.

~Worldwide, PCOS affects 6% to 10% of women, making it the most common eddocrinopathy in women of childbearing age.

~PCOS is the most common cause of ovulatory infertility.

~There is a lack of evidence that supports a very low carb or gluten free diet as an effective eating plan over other diets for women with PCOS.

~Regular exercise is an effective way to improve insulin levels in PCOS. Also docs have told me that if I just lose 10% of my body weight it will help increase the chances of getting pregnant naturally.

~Women with PCOS have a higher incidence of gestational diabetes, miscarriages, preterm deliveries, and stillbirths.

~It is estimated that 50-70% of women with PCOS have insulin resistance.

~The optimal treatment for PCOS is a multifactorial approach involving diet and lifestyle modifications and medications. ( I am not on any meds, and I won't go back on them cause they didn't help me one bit.)

These are just a few of the reason why I am doing what I am doing now to get healthy. Why I work so darn hard at trying to lose weight. Because I am already pre-disposed to being overweight, and PCOS makes it more difficult to lose weight because of the insulin resistance. I have how many of my friends are struggling with this same issue. It breaks my heart how common this syndrome is and left untreated it can get worse and lead to other diseases. I will not let that happen to me. I am fighting every day to win this battle. But it is a fight that I must take every single day of my life. Especially if we are to get our little girl here..

The news about this should get out! I wanted to share this with you and should have done more during the month of September. But I didn't. But I am asking now that you show your support of PCOS by commenting and sharing this post with your friends and family. Help other females know that they are not alone in this battle. That there are others just like them. And together we can kick some PCOS ASS! Help spread the word!

More information about PCOS can be found here. Show your support! Thanks!


And, of course, be sure to like our FACEBOOK page and follow us on PINTEREST for motivation, clean eating tips, and healthy lifestyle resources.

Upper Body Lovin'!

(Last weekend we got to visit my Grandpa in DC who was flown out by the Honor Flight in UT honoring WWII vets!)

I don't really believe in spot training. It just doesn't really work. You want to workout your whole body out evenly and honestly you are going to lose weight evenly anyways. But I want my upper body to be stronger. Better. LESS FLABBY! You know, that wobble from the backside of your arms. I WANT THAT GONE! Looking at pictures of me I see my arms and I want them smaller. And the only way I can think of besides losing fat is to increase the muscle. Look at the picture above. I was really happy with it because you can totally tell that my stomach is getting smaller, YEA! but I don't know if it is just cause my arms are so WHITE but that is what jumps out at me is how big my arms are. They are 14.75 inches around. Not happy with that at all!

My arms and shoulders are sooooo weak too! My shoulders pop and crack whenever I am doing arm exercises (same with my hip flexers!) I have a hard time lifting anything more than 5 pounds when it involves my shoulders. But no more. I am adding in some extra upper body workout to help me out. Can't wait to try these workouts by Sia Cooper from Diary Of A Fit Mommy! Have you seen her arms! Girl has been working hard on her guns! So along with my 21 Day Fix I will be doing her upper, lower and core workouts to just get more awesome! And with cleaning up my diet this week...I will get the body that I want! you can count on that!

Need more help and want a challenge? Check out this upper body 28 day challenge! Who wants to do a monthly challenge together??

And, of course, be sure to like our FACEBOOK page and follow us on PINTEREST for motivation, clean eating tips, and healthy lifestyle resources.

My Journey

It has taken me a while to finally finish and get the courage up to post this video, but I AM DOING IT! I'm not trying to brag about what I have accomplished. I am not trying to make anyone feel badly. I am doing it to show you that you can start at any time to take back your life. You don't have to wait until you are at the lowest of the lows. If you feel that little urge telling you, that you need to change something. Just do it. Your body knows when it is ready. Your heart knows too. Sometimes your head will agree with it too, but often our own insecurities about past performances is what holds us back.

Done a diet and weight loss plan before but it didn't work? That's ok. I bet you learned something from that experience. Try changing your routine, but quickly fell into the same habits from before? That's ok, all you need is someone to help support you and give you motivation. I have been there. Felt like I have done it all but the one thing that changed it all, was support and motivation and finally believing in me that I could do it! Send me an email and we can talk about your goals and what has worked before and what hasn't! You don't have to go through this alone! We can do it together, and before you know it you are going to have a pretty amazing journey too!

Check out my video below to watch my journey!

And, of course, be sure to like our FACEBOOK page and follow us on PINTEREST for motivation, clean eating tips, and healthy lifestyle resources.

Active Recovery Yoga

Oh I love my Sundays because after church we come home and the kids go down for a late afternoon nap, I usually catch an hour or two of a good nap and that evening I choose to do my yoga.  I used to not workout on Sundays at all as a true day of rest, but since I started to incorporate yoga on Sunday I have felt more rested and relaxed on Monday for the start of my working out for the week, and overall I am so much more limber. So now I use Sundays and Wednesday as an active rest day. (Pilates on Wednesday)

Why are rest days so important? The entire purpose of recovery is to allow the muscle to repair itself and to engage muscles that are tired and sore from previous days of exercise. To keep your body working at it's peak, you can choose to do an active rest day which is just remain active without pushing yourself as hard as you were a day or two before. Low intensity is what you want to aim for. Running at a slower speed, or doing less amount of exercise or a more slow paced exercise like yoga or pilates!

These are not easy routines I do for my yoga or pilates, they still require me to work, but I focus my mind and breathing to help clean me mentally and also using deep cleansing breaths. It really does work!

Yoga can be done by all shapes and sizes. If you are a more curvy girl, like me, you will have to modify some moves and that is ok! Listen to your instructor and do what you can and over time you will be able to do more and more! The stretching though is so good and feels amazing! For years I felt so scared to do yoga. I didn't think I could because I wasn't a skinny twig of a girl! I started yoga when I was pregnant with Collin and loved it every week that I went, all the way through 39 weeks pregnant. It was amazing. And helped so much, especially since I was running during most of my pregnancy. Even in the last few months I have struggled with Bow Pose. I couldn't not get it. But I kept trying, often just holding one leg at a time and switching halfway through. Then one day, I did it. It just worked! So keep going at it and you will be amazing at what you can accomplish!

This Sunday I challenge you to try out some of these poses. Or Hulu, Amazon they have FREE yoga workouts you can watch. Follow along. Focus on your breathing and allowing your body to release tension. Comment below if you are going to try this, this weekend! I would love to hear from you!

And, of course, be sure to like our FACEBOOK page and follow us on PINTEREST for motivation, clean eating tips, and healthy lifestyle resources.

You Are Not Weak For Crying

Yesterday was a really powerful day for me. It started as any normal day. Getting up and getting Mason ready for preschool and breakfast made. I needed onions for my breakfast and started cutting into a nice huge onion. And then that familiar burning and stinging and crying happened from the onion. I finished chopping, washed my hands and just felt empty and hallow. And the tears kept coming and coming. I just felt drained. On the way home from dropping Mason off at school again I felt empty and hallow. I was grieving knowing that my due date was any day and it wasn't going to happen.

I knew this day was going to happen. At some point. I didn't know when or how or anything but I knew I would have a breakdown day. The tears kept coming and coming. Those hot and heavy tears full of sorrow and pain. I called Matt and told him I was having a bad day and I couldn't stop crying. 20 minutes later he walked in the door with a flower, strawberries and of course chocolate! (I have done pretty good though not eating the chocolate!)

He held me as I continued to cry. Normally when I am in pain or sad or crying I push everyone away. But not today. I let him hold me. Counseling has helped. I am letting people in! The tears didn't stop. I just kept crying. Anytime I thought I would be done I wasn't.

Matt picked Mason up from lunch and we had lunch. Kids went down for a nap and Matt sent me up for one too! Thankfully it was a Wednesday and I had my weekly counseling session. I didn't get ready. I didn't change clothes. I just went puffy swollen face and all. Talked through it. And felt lighter and so much better. I finally stopped crying uncontrollably after my session. Matt and I talked about my session and we just grieved together yesterday.

So thankful to my husband for just dropping what he was doing to take care of me. His work is so important but he still took care of me. I also realized that yesterday that I hadn't let all my feelings out. That I was still bottling them in and they just exploded yesterday. and it is okay!

Crying is not a sign of weakness. And for years I always thought it had. For me it just meant that I was holding too many things in at once and something had to give!

No Room For Excuses

In March and April I had a hard time just climbing the stairs without feeling dizzy or winded during my recovery from the miscarriage. Making new blood and filling my body back up with blood was HARD WORK! For months after I have had a hard time with pushing myself to where my heart rate accelerated too much. I have been afraid that I am going to pass out, because I was getting just as winded as I was during my recovery. (thanks to PTSD!) 

Now I can finally run up and down my stairs without being winded, just dizzy cause they turn a lot! But I am working on me everyday. Pushing myself as hard as I can because it is important to me. Eating clean, and just spending 30 minutes working on my body making it as fit as possible. I have decided that I am worth it and I can not stop what I enjoy doing just because I have a little bit of fear creeping inside of me anytime I try to better myself! I am worth more and so are you! 

I have seen too many excuses. Too many times. Heck, I made those excuses too! I am too fat. I haven't exercised in forever. I can't do it because it is hard. I can't breath. I'm too sore. I'm too slow. I'm too this and I'm too that. I love chocolate too much. I can't do that. I want to but... Enough with excuses. You want to change. You have to decide that you want to and DO IT! That is all it takes. You want to lose 20 pounds so you can get pregnant, then decide why you want to do it and think about that why when you have one of those pesky excuses enter into your head.

Here is the thing. EVERYONE has excuses. Arnold Schwarzenegger probably had an excuse as to why he didn't want to lift that day, but he didn't listen to those excuses. He did what he had to. Even moms. You can make an excuse as to why you aren't going to make lunch for your child that day, but you want your kids to eat healthy foods and they need a lunch so your motivation to make the lunch is greater than your excuse. Don't be ruled by your excuses. Stomp them down and stick with what you know you need to do! It really is that easy!

If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will have excuse after excuse as to why you can't do something! Fight those excuses and show them who is boss! You have it in you! You can do it!

Hope

This past Saturday I finished my fourth piano solo composition. Bet you didn't know that I have actually dabbled in writing music? I am not a mastermind at music composition but I just write what comes to me and take it from there. Sometimes I hear a melody and I can get swept up in it and write a decent amount of music in a day, or sitting and that is really what happened with this one. It has been on my mind almost every day since I started it. I started writing again, a brand new song, on the 30th of August. And now less than 30 days I have completed it.

I have titled it Hope, or A Mother's Hope (still deciding). It really is about my roller coaster of a ride with having babies. All the struggles and joys I have experienced.

I was inspired to finish it when my sister in law had her baby. A red headed little girl. Which is what I always imagined my baby girl would be. I am not going to lie. I am jealous, I am sad. My due date was actually this coming Saturday on the 26th. My sis-in-law and I were both expecting at the same time. And it is hard knowing that she has her little girl and I don't... yet. I know this might seem petty, and I am not writing this to get pity or make my sister in law feel upset for having her baby, or anyone else for that matter. I am saying this because it is normal and natural to experiences these feelings of jealousy, anger, frustration, and sadness. It is ok to feel these things. And don't let anyone tell you different! It is also about how we express those feelings. Being angry at our family or anyone because they have something you don't is not the best right. The feelings need to be talked about, expressed and released. I needed to get those feelings out and I did it through my music. I was bawling my eyes out when my music took a turn I wasn't expecting. Mimicking the sadness and grief I felt when I lost her. But the end is so hopeful. I know that someday when the time is right she will join our family. This is not in my control. I am on God's timeline and at this point, I am hopeful that someday she will be with us. When that will be? I have no idea but I have hope that she will be here when it is her right time.

I am thankful that I have the talent to be able to play my feelings out. Holding them in is the last thing I want to do. I have to let them out. In any way I can. Music, art, dancing anything creative that you can do to help you express those feelings so that you can feel free, lifted and just at peace with what is being thrown your way. Trust in yourself and in God that you can get through this and you will. I am so happy for my sister in law and her family for her little girl making it safely here. Babies are a miracle no matter what! It is hard work making a baby!