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Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

October is Infertility Awareness Month


I was reminded that October is Infertility Awareness Month. I have been through my own battle of infertility, which you can read about here, and it seriously saddens me how many of my friends are having infertility problems too. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!

It is so hard to want and wish for something that is so profoundly right and good, to want to have children and not be able to have them. Often times I found myself comparing my situation to others or question what is going on. "Why can she get pregnant and I can't?" "She is only 16. Why is she able to have a baby?" "What did I do wrong?" I know and believe that it is truly God's timing in all things. And that if it is right it will happen.
I know it is so hard to sit and wait to be blessed with children. I did it for 8 years, trying, praying and hoping. Honestly, the best thing we can do as women with infertility is to work on us and be as healthy as possible so when it is our time to have a family (however that happens either through natural pregnancy, fertility treatments, surrogacy, or adoption) you are ready and prepared and HEALTHY. And someday, our families will grown and the sound of little feet will pitter and patter in our own homes. Stay strong! Don't lose the faith and believe!
Want to take that first step to getting healthy but don't know where to start? Follow me on FACEBOOK for daily motivation and tips. Send me an email or comment below and we can talk about how you can start. It is never too late to work on you. Use it as your outlet to help yourself feel better. But do it for your body so that it is working the best that it can. I blamed myself for my past miscarriage, saying that I wasn't as healthy as I should have been. And it was hard on me mentally. So put your body first. Babies will come. But you need to work on you first! 


And, of course, be sure to like our 
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Thursday, October 1, 2015

PCOS Awareness Month

I have been so hesitant to share what the actual cause of my infertility really is. I don't know why, considering I know so many women that are plagued with this syndrome and honestly I am just kicking myself right now. September was PCOS awareness month. That is the whole reason why I suffer from infertility. And it sucks. There are different types of PCOS infertility because trust me, talking with my friends we only one or two things in common with our infertility problems.

So my specific problem is that I do have polycystic ovaries. The docs call it a "ring of pearls" around both ovaries. Which make it difficult for me to get pregnant. I basically don't ovulate. At least I never did before I got pregnant with Mason. Hence why it took 8 years to get pregnant with him. Through fertility drugs. I also don't produce the hormones to tell my body, "HEY IT IS TIME TO MAKE AN EGG!" and "Hey it is time to release an egg!" Again this was all before Mason came around. What is interesting about pregnancies and PCOS is that pregnancies can jump start the system to functioning properly again. Which is what it did for me. But I have still had problems along the way with 3 miscarriages now.

Some facts I know about PCOS:

~Women with PCOS often have excess facial hair. Only because we have a hormone imbalance. Oh yeah, I have that too! I produce too much testosterone. Hence why I can squat my husband's weight easily! I am one strong cookie! and why I can build muscle easier than women without the syndrome.

~Worldwide, PCOS affects 6% to 10% of women, making it the most common eddocrinopathy in women of childbearing age.

~PCOS is the most common cause of ovulatory infertility.

~There is a lack of evidence that supports a very low carb or gluten free diet as an effective eating plan over other diets for women with PCOS.

~Regular exercise is an effective way to improve insulin levels in PCOS. Also docs have told me that if I just lose 10% of my body weight it will help increase the chances of getting pregnant naturally.

~Women with PCOS have a higher incidence of gestational diabetes, miscarriages, preterm deliveries, and stillbirths.

~It is estimated that 50-70% of women with PCOS have insulin resistance.

~The optimal treatment for PCOS is a multifactorial approach involving diet and lifestyle modifications and medications. ( I am not on any meds, and I won't go back on them cause they didn't help me one bit.)

These are just a few of the reason why I am doing what I am doing now to get healthy. Why I work so darn hard at trying to lose weight. Because I am already pre-disposed to being overweight, and PCOS makes it more difficult to lose weight because of the insulin resistance. I have how many of my friends are struggling with this same issue. It breaks my heart how common this syndrome is and left untreated it can get worse and lead to other diseases. I will not let that happen to me. I am fighting every day to win this battle. But it is a fight that I must take every single day of my life. Especially if we are to get our little girl here..

The news about this should get out! I wanted to share this with you and should have done more during the month of September. But I didn't. But I am asking now that you show your support of PCOS by commenting and sharing this post with your friends and family. Help other females know that they are not alone in this battle. That there are others just like them. And together we can kick some PCOS ASS! Help spread the word!

More information about PCOS can be found here. Show your support! Thanks!


And, of course, be sure to like our 
FACEBOOK page and follow us on PINTEREST for motivation, clean eating tips, and healthy lifestyle resources.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Hope

This past Saturday I finished my fourth piano solo composition. Bet you didn't know that I have actually dabbled in writing music? I am not a mastermind at music composition but I just write what comes to me and take it from there. Sometimes I hear a melody and I can get swept up in it and write a decent amount of music in a day, or sitting and that is really what happened with this one. It has been on my mind almost every day since I started it. I started writing again, a brand new song, on the 30th of August. And now less than 30 days I have completed it.

I have titled it Hope, or A Mother's Hope (still deciding). It really is about my roller coaster of a ride with having babies. All the struggles and joys I have experienced.

I was inspired to finish it when my sister in law had her baby. A red headed little girl. Which is what I always imagined my baby girl would be. I am not going to lie. I am jealous, I am sad. My due date was actually this coming Saturday on the 26th. My sis-in-law and I were both expecting at the same time. And it is hard knowing that she has her little girl and I don't... yet. I know this might seem petty, and I am not writing this to get pity or make my sister in law feel upset for having her baby, or anyone else for that matter. I am saying this because it is normal and natural to experiences these feelings of jealousy, anger, frustration, and sadness. It is ok to feel these things. And don't let anyone tell you different! It is also about how we express those feelings. Being angry at our family or anyone because they have something you don't is not the best right. The feelings need to be talked about, expressed and released. I needed to get those feelings out and I did it through my music. I was bawling my eyes out when my music took a turn I wasn't expecting. Mimicking the sadness and grief I felt when I lost her. But the end is so hopeful. I know that someday when the time is right she will join our family. This is not in my control. I am on God's timeline and at this point, I am hopeful that someday she will be with us. When that will be? I have no idea but I have hope that she will be here when it is her right time.

I am thankful that I have the talent to be able to play my feelings out. Holding them in is the last thing I want to do. I have to let them out. In any way I can. Music, art, dancing anything creative that you can do to help you express those feelings so that you can feel free, lifted and just at peace with what is being thrown your way. Trust in yourself and in God that you can get through this and you will. I am so happy for my sister in law and her family for her little girl making it safely here. Babies are a miracle no matter what! It is hard work making a baby!

Friday, May 1, 2015

Body Dysmorphic Disorder


I mentioned this in a previous post that I was having some serious body dysmorphia. Here is what it is. *Please know I have not been clinically diagnosed with this disorder but it is a real thing. I have been like this before.* Basically is is body shamming of your own body. Where you spend a substantial amount of time a day thinking about the flaws of your body and how to hid or improve them. You see your body in a negative light regardless of how it really is. You can't see yourself correctly. I feel like I am looking in a fun house mirror right now and I have been trying to avoid the mirror at all costs.

Since the miscarriage I have been so disappointed with my belly size. It has been a constant reminder of what is not growing in there any more. My scale was broken so I couldn't be obsessed with my weight, which is a good thing but nothing fits me right anymore.

Before going to the gym I have been changing my shirts multiple times trying to find one that would "hide" my belly more so I wouldn't look as bad as I think I do. None of my pants fit and all my shirts are too tight in the belly and I don't want to wear my maternity shirts anymore because I can't handle it.

I spoke with a counselor the other day on the phone because I needed to speak with one and her first question, "How are you feeling?" "FAT" is how I responded. Seriously the first thing out of my mouth was be belittling my body.

I have been like this before and I learned to love my body for me. Seriously. I do love my body. It has done amazing things. I have done a 1/2 marathon. Trained for a 10 miler. I have carried and birthed 2 healthy boys. I have nursed for 27 months now (not all in a row of course.) It is amazing but I am not happy with the shape of my body and how I look. People have been telling me, "It's ok. You were pregnant. It is going to take time to get back to normal." But what do you do when you can't fit anything? Yoga pants everyday? Yep, cause that is all that fits. And skirts.

It is not ok to hate your body. We all have flaws. And it is ok. I will forever have stretch marks from when I gained weight too fast before I even had any kids. On the flip side, I have a killer smile that I LOVE! I have a fun loving personality and I love teaching. So now that I recognize that I have a problem with how I have been looking at myself it is time to turn it around and do something about it!

One thing that I do know, is that if I am truly so displeased with my body shape than I can do something about it. Exercise. And eating better. That will help my body shed the weight but it will take work. And that is exactly what I need right now. I need some busy work to get me to lose this weight. It's ok to want to make yourself healthy but to do it in a healthy manner. Hating yourself and feeling completely disgusted with how you look is not healthy. You can talk to someone, you can talk to me and we can work through it together.

Goals:
~Speak with a counselor to work through my miscarriage.
~Drink Shakeology everyday to get my superfood that my body needs to help me be as healthy as possible!
~Exercise 4-5 days a week. 2 days on cardio and 2 days on strength training specifically.
~Make smart eating choices. Smaller appropriate portions and eat more veggies.

If you want to join me in my journey to a healthy you, please let me know! I can start up a private Facebook group and we can do this TOGETHER! Email me at connectthedotsginger@gmail.com or comment below!


QOTD: Have you ever felt like this? Not happy with something about you? What did you do to overcome the feelings?

Friday, April 24, 2015

It's Running Time...Almost

~Whew! I need to look into a wrinkle cream because I am looking my age! Unintentional photo bomb by Mason!~

Yesterday I got the all clear to start normal activities again. Doc is happy with my physical progress and says that everyday will get better with the mental progress. But there will still be good days and bad days.

I told him about my cleaning frenzy and how that is how I am getting my anger/frustrations out. He said to divide up the energy towards cleaning the house and running/exercising. Funny thing, most of  my appointments are spent talking races. My doc casually says today, "I think I am going to do the park to park race this weekend just for fun..." Yeah cause running a whole marathon takes no effort at all. My doc is pretty awesome because he will be up most the night delivering babies and wake up at 5 am to do an 18 mile run, for fun. And he needs the break to clear his head too I guess.

He encouraged me to keep signing up for races and just to keep on doing it. He loves that I enjoy running and thinks it is just an overall great thing for me to do. However, I am still a little anemic so for the next 2 weeks he said light exercise. No sprinting exercises (like I do that anyway!) And that if I get light headed, dizzy or out of breath than I am pushing too hard. Here is to 2 weeks of light exercise then off I go. I have got to get run ready for the woman's 4 miler training program that begins in like 6 weeks! EEK! Oh and I decided that I will be running my 2nd half marathon this fall. So my training will ultimately be for the 1/2 in November. YEA! Start the countdown to kicking my own butt!

~Pix above is me excited about getting to get back to it and not be stuck in my house! I also did my hair differently. I have never curled it like this (excpet for family pictures) but I thought I would try something new. I didn't get it cut. Honestly, I need a change and I don't want to cut it and I am getting to that awkward "funky length phase" for growing out my hair! So what do you think on the hair? Yea or Nay???~

Monday, March 30, 2015

Make You Or Break You: Emotions Of A Miscarriage


I really didn't think I would be able to talk about my emotional feeling this soon but I need to get them out there before I forget. This is my 3rd miscarriage (MC for ease with typing). I have now had more MC than live children and this one has by far been the worst of the 3. And not just with the actual MC (which that was the worst) but I have all these hidden feelings.

My first miscarriage I was at 6 weeks along. About 14 months after Mason had been born. I had only been pregnant for about a week. And I knew the reason why I had a MC. It was to show me that I could actually get pregnant again and that my system had been restarted. We were told with our fertility treatment that that often happens. Couples who had been trying for years (9 years in our case) suddenly became very fertile after they have a successful pregnancy. Yeah, it hurt that I had a MC but was so excited with the fact that I was "fixed" and we didn't have to pay thousands of dollars to get pregnant again that I was fine after that one.

My second MC was 6 months later. We found out April 1 and my hubs thought I was joking with him of course and he had just left to AZ for military training for 6 weeks. Of course I called the doc the day that we found out I was pregnant I was 5 weeks along. I had been taking tests all the week before because I was sure I was pregnant. I was but my levels were so low it wasn't registering I guess. I went into the doc and he had me do the blood test. And I came back 3 days later to do another blood test, then 3 days later after that and so forth. It was a month of testing just waiting for my levels to get to 1200. It was a month of good news, bad news and a roller coaster of emotions. Matt wasn't here. I ate my emotions through ice cream. I celebrated and drowned my sadness in ice cream that month. It was awful. Then I finally had my ultrasound. It was the 9th of May. There was no baby in there. Just the sac. I was so sad. I was devastated. Doc said that the sac was already elongating and that it was only a matter of days before it would have happened anyways. I reached a low point. I was so mad. Pissed. Hurt. Confused. Lost. I lost all faith in God. how could he do this to me? We were given a chance to have more kids, why was this taken away from us?  Mason napped so long that day and I just cried on the couch. I was alone. I felt alone for the first time in a very long time. I didn't feel like God had my back anymore and that I had done something wrong to be punished. I talked to my parents and they tried to reassure me. I was reminded of a talk from our semiannual  conference for my church. To re-read it. Which I did. (you can read it here too if you want) It made me stop in my tracks. It hit such a profound nerve in me that I realized that the one thing I could not do was to ever lose my faith. I called a church friend and they came and helped me through this day. My lowest day. I will never forget that talk. That is why you see the Hope on. Journey on. Picture. That is in reference to that talk that forever changed the way I see faith and a reminder again to never, ever, forget that I am never alone. 2 days later I had my MC. The day before Mother's Day.

I moved on. It took me a few months to actually forgive myself for what happened. Yep I still blamed myself for what happened. And seriously the day I asked for forgiveness is like the day we got pregnant with Collin. No joke. And he was born 8 days after Mother's day. A new happy memory to replace the sad one.

Now on to the 3rd MC. Right after I felt the pop, the doc came in and said that the amniotic sac was already protruding through the cervix, per the ultrasound and that a MC was imminent. I was devastated. We had known, even before getting pregnant, that this was going to be our little girl. And it was confirmed (with an 80% chance) the day before that this was our little girl. I had just accepted the fact that I was going to have 3 kids under 4 and I was so excited to meet our little girl. Now this was happening.

I started asking how could this happen. I even turned to Matt and said "we just saw her heartbeat. I am killing her. I murdered her." Yep that awful thought popped into my head and out of my mouth. I kept saying I was killing her. That she was just alive and now she isn't. I did this. I started weeping. Seriously weeping is the description I can best use because it was so sorrow filled and agonizing that I had to go through another MC again but the fact that she was alive and then she wasn't. I couldn't get past it.

Throughout the MC I just kept crying. I begged for drugs because I just didn't want to feel anything anymore. Including my feelings. They were heavy on me. But they kept denying me drugs. Saying I wasn't stable enough to have them. I didn't care. I just wanted to stop feeling. I stopped saying aloud how much I was hurting that I killed our little girl. Everyone kept telling me that I didn't kill her. But I wasn't listening. My rational side was gone. I was hurt. Confused. Angry. Scared. I finally got transferred and at the other ER I ask for drugs again, and was actually excited when they told me that I will be asleep for the surgery. I won't feel anything. When I woke up I cried with a nurse there about what happened. That it really had happened. I lost my baby. My baby girl. That I killed. It was my fault. I was then transferred down to my room.

When the night nurse came in. He asked my pain levels and such and asked if I wanted any pain relievers. Now I have done natural labor, no drugs twice now. I apparently can handle pain, but I was tired of feeling anything and I didn't want to hurt anymore. Especially emotionally. I asked for the good stuff because I knew it would knock me out. And it did.

That next morning I decided to "turn it off." To turn off my emotions. I couldn't handle them anymore. All I kept hearing was the fact that I killed her over and over again. So just like in Vampire Diaries I flipped off my emotions. (for them it is their humanity switch but it kind of was like the same thing. I just flipped a switch in my head and off went the emotions.) I couldn't talk about the fact that I killed her out loud. I told a couple of people over the phone about it and every time my feelings came rushing in. And freaking out my close friends and family that I told this to. One even said that it was Satin that was saying this to me. And that it was a lie. Part of me understood that but I didn't believe her deep down. I knew it was my fault. So I stopped talking about it. It was weird, I could talk about the MC without even shedding a tear. It was not natural. Odd. I spent all Sunday like this. Asking for more pain meds and my emotions turned off.

Monday morning came around and that is when my doc told me about the possible infection. Immediately I felt a weight had been lifted from my body. My whole body. It wasn't my fault. IT WASN'T MY FAULT! I just wanted to shout if from the top of my lungs. I didn't kill her. I still kept my emotions in check but it was a feeling of relief that I never thought that I would have. I almost instantly felt better. I had an understanding that this MC needed to happen to save my life. And that one day again I will have another baby girl and that we would both be healthy. What a blessing it was. I was okay with the MC. I wished that I didn't have to go through it, because there are things that happened during the MC I will never forget. And it was scary of course. But I accepted that this had to happen. It was God's plan and I needed to be at peace with it. I did feel at peace.

The next few days I was at peace. I know that only a couple of times I would start to blame myself again but I was able to stamp that down pretty quickly. I let my body heal. I needed to let my body heal. Then Friday night I realized that a week prior I had seen how healthy she looked. We found out that she was a SHE. I started balling. I cried myself to sleep that night. Saturday night. I realized that a week ago I was having the MC. I relived the entire experience in my head again and again. I balled my eyes out and cried myself asleep again. I didn't even know why I started crying I just did. Those hot and heavy tears.

I obviously still have some mourning to go through, because I was an emotional wreck on Sunday after writing this and here I thought I had accepted it. But I haven't. I am sure I will be crying for awhile because I lost a baby. Our baby girl. I am comforted by the fact that we can have more children. But not yet. Not for awhile. And that is okay. This loss is going to take me awhile to process and learn to live with. And that is okay.

I just have to keep letting my body heal. And maybe talk to a counselor or friends to process my feeling correctly for this one. And someday, when the time is right, we can and will welcome our little girl into our family.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

PCOS and Infertility: My Story

After my recent announcement you probably wouldn't believe that I did suffer from infertility for 9 years. It is true. Matt and I were married in 2002 and by 2003 I was off birth control and trying to get pregnant. Mid 2003 we went to my doctor's office and they told me that the best way to get pregnant was to lose 10-15 lbs. Keep in mind I was not super heavy at this point. I had gained maybe 10 lbs by the time we had gotten married. I was upset. And talked with a friend who told me to go see her doctor who specialized in infertility.

I visited that doctor and took all the test and ultrasounds and on the ultrasound, there it was. The Ring of Pearls around both ovaries. The doctor went over my blood results and said that I had a hormone imbalance which made it difficult for my body to know when to release an egg. Basically, my body didn't know when to start producing the hormones to tell my body to make an egg and then when to release it. So all the eggs just started lining up around my ovaries. She also advised that PCOS is related with insulin levels. My insulin levels were fine. (and incorrect insulin levels can make you gain weight and make it more difficult to lose weight.)

She put me on some clomid as part of my way to get me to ovulate. The first month I ovulated but nothing happened. No pregnancy. The second month I had a cyst and we had to stop clomid for the month. The next month after that we took a break again. I was getting frustrated. We gave up for the time being. And moved up north to Flagstaff, AZ where I started seeing a new doctor who said he was a fertility specialists. WRONG! He gave me high dosage of Clomid and didn't monitor me. He diagnosed me by looking at me and said I had PCOS because of facial hair. I was on clomid straight for 7 months. And he had me take Metformin which is an insulin regulator. I had a ruptured cyst that put me in the hospital and my periods were the worst they have ever been.  And the mood swings, Matt wanted to volunteer to go to Afghanistan to get away from me. I am a red head, my temper is already pretty short so it was really BAD! Looking back I feel like I had a black veil over me. Everything was just tainted differently than it should have been. It was not good and that 7 months was the worst of our marriage. We fought more than we ever had and he didn't even want to touch me!

We gave up, in the sense of no more doctors at least for awhile. Still stayed on Metformin and started to gain weight. So this was 2006. By 2010, Matt was deployed and had a strong impression that we needed to find another doctor to get started on our family. A good family friend had gotten pregnant by a REAL Endocrinologist (hormone doc) and I called that doc. I met with the doc, told them about my experiences and that I REFUSED to go on clomid because it was so awful for me! The doc agreed and told me what he suggested. Regular monitoring and I was going to take hormone shots to jump start my body. Instead of putting a hormone into my body tricking it to do something (clomid) We were going to shoot me up with the actual hormone to make my body do something! I took some other tests to make sure that all the pipes were clean and working, and Matt was gone for 2 more months anyhow so we had a little time to kill. I did do one round of shots before he got home as a control to figure out dosing and make sure it even worked. Well it did work but not as fast as we wanted it to. So for the first "real" round my dosing was upped. I was getting blood tests very frequently, so much so I have a preferred vein I like to use and it is named "Old Faithful!" And every time I have to go have my blood taken I tell the vampires where it is at and that it is deep but works every time. Half the time I get stuck in the blind because they can't find it but it works every time, when they trust what I say and listen to me.

Anyhew, that round worked but I didn't get pregnant after Matt got home. I had to skip a month due to going out of town. The next month we decided to pair the hormones with my first IUI (inter uterine implantation) They take Matt's soldiers, clean them, and then implant them directly into my uterus using a catheter up there. The soldiers still have to "find the egg" as it were and do their job. Not an IVF where they take the egg from the female and the guys soldiers and combine them together outside of the body then implant the eggs back into the female for implantation.

We were going to find out on our Anniversary if the IUI worked. Sadly it didn't. We also had word from Matt's military that he was going to be deployed in October to Iraq. So we didn't have enough time by the time my cycle came around to do another round before a HUGE trip we had been planning on doing. So we did our HUGE 2.5 week trip to Disney World and then a cruise to the Caribbean. We had a great time. I got pampered by my husband. We went on 2 amazing tours of WDW and the cruise was more fun than we ever dreamed. I got massages and acupuncture while on the cruise. We found out that his deployment was postponed for the time being. YES! And the day after we got home my cycle started!

I called my doc and told them and they got me started on the shots by day 3. We were rolling. And everything was happing way faster and better than it had the other 3 rounds. By 2 weeks we were ready to go. Halloween I took my HCG shot to trigger ovulation, (ouch, that one HURTS!) and November 2nd was my IUI! 2 weeks later we found out we were pregnant with Mason! It worked. Since then I have had 3 spontaneous pregnancies. 1 resulting in another baby, Collin.

When I was doing the fertility treatment I was exercising and I had lost 35 lbs. I was below 200 when I got pregnant, just below but I was in the 190's range! I was running. Eating wasn't all that great but I was still learning what to put in my body. I wasn't eating the rights amounts or kinds of foods really. When I found out I was pregnant with Mason I stopped exercising because I didn't want to lose Mason. Worse mistake I ever did! And I started eating food again (I was on slim fast to control my calories.) I wish I didn't do that! And I didn't exercise prior to getting pregnant with my 2 next pregnancies which both ended in miscarriage. With Collin I was very active and stayed that way. Now I am trying to do the same, if my morning sickness will allow me!

What is cool though I had been told by my 3rd fertility doc; the one that got me to work, he said that sometimes when a woman with PCOS get pregnant and has a baby it can jump start her body to doing what it should be doing, regular ovulation and periods. I hoped it would and was surprised when it did. Now we can't turn me off. But you know what, I am amazed with my body that it is working and that I have 2 healthy boys and another on the way. I pray everyday that me and the Baby are watched over and protected and that if it is God's will that I can continue to carry the baby and have it part of my family.
I promise you that if you were told that you have PCOS you can still have children. It might take some time, but it can still happen. My advice to you, find healthy activities to do and a great meal plan and stick with it. It is good for your body and good for you when you do get pregnant. Just hang in there. I know how you feel. The sadness that you get when you see other people with babies. Or hear how so-and-so didn't even try and they now have 3 kids when you don't have any. Or the pressure from your family or religion to pop babies out. I get it. I was there for 9 years. Wishing, hoping and praying that I would have a child of my own. Never really thought that I would have 3 though after it taking so long just to get one. In the end, learn to love yourself, forgive yourself because you will be secretly mad at yourself because you can't be like a "normal" woman and have babies. And enjoy life with your partner. Babies will come.

My stats:
9 years of waiting
3 fertility doctors (1 real one)
54 shots in my belly
2 IUI's
6 pregnancies
3 live babies

****UPDATE 10/15/15
I miscarried pregnancy #5 on March 21st at just shy of 14 weeks pregnant. It was a very hard miscarriage and almost took my life because it was so traumatic. Hoping that we can get pregnant again soon though.

******* Update 9/29/16
I birthed a healthy 7 pound 5 ounce baby girl today! Elyse Cheyenne. She is my rainbow baby after my traumatic miscarriage last year. She had the exact same due date as my pregnancy last year and decided to make us wait and force her out. Born at 41 weeks 1 day.
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