Connect the Dots Ginger | Becky Allen: No More Mom Guilt

Monday, May 9, 2016

No More Mom Guilt

MOM GUILT! How many of you have felt guilty for wanting to get your hair cut, spending some time away from the kids to regroup, for working out maybe when your kid is crying for a little bit, for spending money on you and not your kids, for just taking some time for you. STOP IT! DROP THE MOM GUILT! You are not supposed to be last. You know what happens when you take care of everyone before yourself? You will crack! You will not be happy. You will feel sad and even angry at times. YOU NEED YOUR TIME TO TAKE CARE OF YOU!

The number one thing that most women feel about taking care of themselves, especially moms, is GUILT! You are no being selfish finding time to workout. You are not being a bad mom for maybe letting your kid cry a little so you can knock out the last 30 seconds of a move before you can hit pause, take care of your kid and then hit play again to finish it up (and sometimes a 30 minute workout can take 45 minute when you have to do that, and IT IS OK!) You are not horrible for taking 30 minutes just after you get home from work, exhausted, to bust out your workout. YOU DESERVE to be HAPPY. You DESERVE to kick butt! And you are WORTH IT! NO MORE GUILT for doing what you need to do to take care of you!
I have been there. Mason's first year, I never, ever had time for myself. Matt was deployed and I thought I had to do it all myself. Thankfully Mason was often held at church for me because, maybe I looked like I needed a break, I don't know, but just a few months after Matt returned and I was still doing everything first over me. I cracked! My facade I put up just shattered. I finally told Matt how I was feeling, how I felt like I just "lost myself" I didn't know who I was. I was first just a wife. Then just a mom. Then I was a wife and a mom and was still doing EVERYTHING and never ever took a break for me. I thought I had to do it all to be happy, but the one thing I forgot was ME! And without taking care of me, it just didn't work.

Why am I sharing all this here...YOU ALL NEED TO HEAR IT! Stop the guilt. Self shaming. And do what you can. Put aside 30 minutes a day to take care of you. Taking a nap, alone time, EXERCISE. Whatever you can fit into your day. JUST DO SOMETHING FOR YOU! You are worth it and deserve to be as happy as possible! Your kids are great and deserve your love, but so do you! 

***Comment below with some experiences where you didn't allow yourself to take care of you and what you should have had to do in the past to overcome the Mom/Self guilt and shaming for taking care of you over other things. Learn from your past and do better!

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