Sunday, May 11, 2014

Happy Mother's Day!


This day has been one of the hardest, most special and now a little bittersweet for me. The first 8 years of our marriage I really hated this day. It was a reminder that I couldn't get pregnant. All my friends were and their families grew and expanded over the years and our was stagnant. Not matter what we did I couldn't get pregnant. I hated receiving the Pity Flower at church. (Here you go sister Allen here's a flower that is supposed to be for moms but you aren't a mom yet and we will give you one anyways because that is what we were told to do.) I know that that is not the real intent of the flower but that is how I felt at church every year. It got to the point that I stopped going to church on Mother's Day because I just couldn't take it anymore.

Then I finally got pregnant. It was amazing. I relished the day. I loved it. I earned that flower for the first time, but wait, baby wasn't here yet and something could still happen and I could end up not being a mom because something could happen. But that year I went to church and I collected my flower and was proud of it! Got an amazing Mother's Day gift from Matt that year too. He knows my feelings on that day and normally doesn't get me anything but that year, 2011, he got me a massage, facial and just a pamper day at an amazing spa! It was amazing!

Last year is when this day has become bittersweet to me. I miscarried the day before Mother's Day. (which happens to be Mother's day this year.) I was 12 weeks pregnant and knew it was coming. Matt wasn't home yet from being away at military and wasn't going to get here until the 12th. I went through the miscarriage all on my own. I was alone. Crying my eyes out, and didn't have anyone here to help me or anything. It was awful. Thankfully that day Mason was amazing and was asleep a ton on that Saturday afternoon after a playdate from that morning. I didn't go to church the next day. I just wasn't feeling well and hello I just had a miscarriage. I was thankful for Mason and the blessing he is in my life. I knew that this day would be a little harder for me from now on.

But what a miracle things have become. I get pregnant without expecting it and when is my due date, right around the time of my last miscarriage. CRAZY HUH! I am so thankful that I will have a happy memory to help shadow my sad loss of last year. And whenever baby decides to come we will be so happy to finally welcome him in our family. We are truly blessed by the graciousness of God in our lives who has blessed up with this little miracle!

Please don't feel sad for me on this post. It is a post of growth and learning and it is apart of me. Here is a little picture roundup on how my life is with Mason.
~Allen Family Est. 2002. Best Day Ever!~

~Next Best Day of my life just over 8 years later~

~There's always lots of snuggle time in this house. Just too cute a kid not to snuggle with!~

~Cute little boy!~

~There's plenty of play and fun in our house everyday!~

~There's also a lot of this in our house. He is a little bit of a drama King!~

 ~But at the end of the day, he's my little man and we will always love each other!~

 ~Love my squeezes!

 Thank you Mason for making me a Mommy and loving it everyday! I love you son!

~I am so excited to be a mommy of 2 sons! See you real soon Baby!~

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