Connect the Dots Ginger | Becky Allen: Tips To Strengthening Your Relationship Before & After Baby

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Tips To Strengthening Your Relationship Before & After Baby

Making a baby is HARD and it can take a toll on your relationship with your partner. Not feeling well for most of the 9 months. Body changes. Planning and prepping for new baby. Even financial stress can put a strain on your time together. But it is SOOO important that you make sure that you make time for each other. To have some quiet alone time and get out of the house together on a date. IT IS SO IMPORTANT! Matt and I are celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary next month. We have always had a minimum goal to go on a date at least once a month. We would love to be able go on a date once a week. Have we done it every month? Nope. But we sure do try. And since having our kids it has made it so hard, plus it costs money for a babysitter, but we have not regretted it one bit. Here are some helpful tips to strengthening your marriage before your new baby arrives!
1) WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT TO DATE YOUR SPOUSE

Because you need to rekindle that love for each other. You fell in love for a reason. After kids come around, the family dynamic changes. The kids tend to take the most attention and the partnership can get lost sometimes. But...kids leave eventually. You and your partner are in this for the long run. I firmly believe that to have a successful marriage, you have to have some quality time with your spouse. Without the kids.

2) WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS? THEY NEED ME!

Yes, your kids need YOU! BOTH OF YOU! If you dedicate time each week, or at least a good portion of time once a month, the kids will get BOTH OF YOU! HAPPY and IN LOVE! Isn't that what you want them to remember? Having a strong family takes hard work and dedication to all members of the family including your partner.

3) IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE EXPENSIVE

Just get out of the house! Go for a walk, just the two of you. Go get a scoop of ice cream. Go have a picnic. Go sample tasting at Costco. Window shopping. Make sure you hold hands. Joke, kiss, enjoy your time without the kids. Try not to talk about the kids. Talk about the two of you which is so hard since so much of your life revolves around the kids, but try to talk about the two of you.

4) BUDGET YOUR DATES IN YOUR MONTHLY FINANCIAL PLANS

To make sure you can always get away, plan for it in your monthly financial budget so that there is no excuse not to be able to do it! It really is that important. For us, I set aside enough to cover a babysitter and a smaller date. And if it is a birthday month for either of us, or our anniversary we budget more to get an extra special dinner and maybe a longer time away. And don't always make it a dinner and a movie. Change it up. Movies, there is no talking. You need to talk together!

5) KID SWAP WITH OTHER PARENTS

To save money for not only you but for another couple, kid swap. One night, you watch your kids and another couple's kids while that couple goes out on a date. And then on another night, they watch your kids while you go on a date. Paying a babysitter can get expensive. And this helps not just you and your partner go on a date but another couple too! It's a win win for both of you.


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