Memorial Day BBQ Ideas

Just a quick shout out to my hubs and all those who are currently serving and who have served. Thank you for your willingness and sacrifice to protect our great nation. May you and your family be blessed, always! We honor you this day and everyday for your amazing bravery and patriotism! Thank you!

Here is a collection of a few recipes I found that would be AWESOME for today's BBQ! Check 'em out and let me know what you think. Comment below! We are having steak because I just had an amazing burger on Friday night, and I found a nice steak in the deep freezer begging to be used! But I'm doing the zucc, and the berries. Maybe the water and the fries. It all looks yummy to me! Enjoy and Happy Memorial Day!

Start with a nice Patriotic Drink of Blueberry and Strawberry Infused water! 

Grilled Zucchini -

Classic Hamburger- Make them slider size for better portion control. Use lettuce leaves instead of buns for gluten free option. I make my own homemade buns so I know what is in them. Here is the recipe for them.

Baked Sweet Potato Fries: 

Stuffed Strawberries-

Friday's Five May Collection

I haven't done one of these in awhile! Here are my 5 things I am totally loving these days:

1. 21 Day Fix. Seriously loving this because I can modify the workout to work for me. If I need to be a wimp then I can wimp out. But if I wanna push it then I can totally push it for as long as I can, and then wimp out and go down to a lighter weight. But honestly I am getting stronger. I was convinced that Collin had lost weight because he just wasn't feeling as heavy to me. Well the little chunk is now over 20 lbs and low and behold I was just getting stronger. Go figure! Ready to get your hands on 21 Day Fix Finally? ORDER HERE for the workout combined with Shakeology! BEST DEAL THOUGH is to get the Beachbody on Demand Annual All Access Challenge Pack where you get access to every workout program ever created for 1 year, 1st month supply of Shakeology and the entire Nutrition Fix Program (those fun little containers to help you eat right!)

2. Pandora: Love turning on my pandora station and just listening to it. Sometimes during the day I will turn on the kids songs for the kids and watch Collin "dance" to it. But he loves music. Mason just tells me to turn it down. There always has to be a critic.

3. Pinterest: I am loving snooping and pinning on Pinterest lately. I have been looking for clean eating recipes, or different workouts, and lots and lots of motivational quotes to help get me through the day.

4. You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero: (sorry mom didn't mean to swear but that is the name of the book). Seriously this book has hit point on point in what I need to be hearing right now. No more wallowing in my sadness. Time to get out there and make something of myself. Help others. And just enjoy life for the roller coaster ride that it is. There are lots and lots of ups and downs and corkscrews in our life and we just need to know how to ride them. Cower in fear or with hands up! Which would you prefer?

5. Lost: I have started to re-watch Lost again. I am use this as my decompression for when I am having a bad day, because my dad is NEVER as bad as theirs gets to I have something to be thankful for.

Short and sweet. What are you loving these days? Comment below! I wanna hear from you!

Happy 1st Birthday Collin Baby!

Here we are. 1 year old. My baby is 1 year old. So scary how fast this year has gone and how blessed we have been with this amazing year. Collin was our surprise baby. The one where I decided that it didn't matter if I sat on my butt or kept running. I had no control over if I miscarried or not. (I had 2 previous miscarriages just before him, and he stuck!) I still worried that what I was doing would make me miscarry but I put my faith in the Lord that if he was meant to be with our family he would be with our family. AND HE IS!

Collin is THE most laid back baby ever. He doesn't really fuss, doesn't really cry, doesn't really get mad. If he gets hurt he stops crying very quickly thanks to his 2 fingers that calm him down, and mommy of course. He is just a super observant baby and loves to watch his big brother do anything.

Collin loves to follow brother around too. Wherever brother goes, Collin is sure to follow because he doesn't want to miss out on any cool things. Or if dad is home Collin is always hanging out with daddy. Such a daddy's boy.

He is our little runt of the litter. He is still in 9 month old sized clothing. He is a little short but he will hit a growth spurt and get taller. He is also the healthiest eater in the house. His favorite meal of the day is breakfast that he inhales, actually he inhales everything he eats, all 2 cups worth of it! HE IS A BIG EATER. But check out what he loves for breakfast everyday: 1-2 eggs soft over easy cooked, 1 banana mashed, 2 teaspoons flaxseed, 1/4-1/2 cup oatmeal all mixed together. He loves it and is so sad when it is all gone. Healthy eater! He has his yearly check up on Wednesday so I will post his stats after to show he is growing and how much!

Here is a photo purge of some of the pictures I took at his Birthday Party this past Saturday!

~I made the comic book cover banner and we will be hanging it in the boy's room!~

 ~Sugar Coma~

Workout For Kids

Kids need exercise! I know that but I had no idea that Mason has actually been watching what I do, but he sure has. The other day he picked up my weights and said, "Look how strong I am mom!" He was so proud of himself that he was doing it and he wanted to do it. So yesterday I tried to help him with his "form" yeah that was real fun. But now I am going to try and make a little workout plan for him and me together here at the house. WHY NOT! If he wants to, right?!?

I will say last night though we did some stretching before bed. To the song: HEAD, SHOULDERS, KNEES and TOES. It was the cutest thing ever. I would hold the word head and have him reach his hands WAY above his head or toes and he would stretch the whole time reaching to his toes. Then I had him sit down and have him stretch to his toes and hold it with legs straight in front, straddle and butterfly. Kid is flexible!

AND IT WAS FUN! He loved it! I LOVE IT! And it was a great bonding exercise. He then proclaimed, "WHEW! I'm tired. Time for bed!" And he climbed right in, no fuss or muss.

I love that he is such a copy cat sponge! He just wants to do what everyone else is doing and will absorb it in and want to do it ALL THE TIME! So proud of him. Now to get a little routine going and I will share it with you when WE figure it all out!

Oh, this isn't the first time I have done this. At the gym, I sometimes pull Mason out of the kids zone and we go run around the little track they have inside. He holds my hand the whole time and he runs as fast as he can. I do this on the lighter patron days (Tuesday and Thursday) and when there is really no one there or on the track. And I have taught Mason that this is for exercise even though it is fun. Once we are done with the track and running we have to get off. He loves it and it is fun to see all the people smiling at him. We get lots of ooo's and ahhhh's and "how cute!" from the older patrons! Now we will just take his exercise to the next level.

Do you workout with your kids? What exercises do you do.

Summer Movies

I am so excited for a couple of movies coming out this summer! Are you? I don't go to the theaters that much so when I go it is for something I REALLY want to see! Here are my top picks:

Perfect Pitch 2! Already I have a girls night out planned for this one with my amazing friend J!

Jurassic World: I am going to drag Matt to this. I totally want to see it in the theater to see him squirm! And I saw the original Jurassic Park in the theater so this is totally nostalgic! 

Minions: Thinking about taking Mason to this but after last time he was in a theater...still debating! 

Fantastic 4: I think Matt might be dragging me to this one! 

What movies are you wanting to see this summer??? Comment below! 

Mother's Day Weekend

I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day! I sadly spent mine sick as a dog with an upset stomach. The cramps were the worst part though. I almost felt like I was going through the miscarriage again which was not fun. But I'm doing better now and just relaxing this day away!

I wanted to share some pix we took over the weekend. Mason was the big man this weekend. Helping dad out with some very "manly" chores. Mason helped dad mow the lawn for the first time and LOVED IT! It was all he talked about the rest of the day. He came in all sweating from the work he put into it. Matt said that Mason was pretty much doing it all excpet for some parts as it goes up hill and Mason needed the extra push. But he was so proud of what he did! In a few years this is going to be Mason's chore so why not start him young! But what a great sight it was to watch how much fun Mason was having with Daddy.

Poor Collin was looking on wanting to go play. He does not like being left out and will whine about it. But we got to spend some fun time together watch brother and dad do the work.

I made a cake for Mother's Day to practice for the cake I was (notice the past tense there) going to make for Collin's birthday party this coming Saturday. The cake turned out ok. But it was a lot of work and I don't think I will have that much time to actually do it. So I am calling the bakery today to order a cake. Collin's smash cake is already ordered I just need cake for everyone else.

Matt had drill for the military so it was me and the boys during the day and we enjoyed playing on the floor with Mason's dinosaurs and watching Jurassic Park! Mason's favorite show as he now proclaims. He doesn't think it is scary at all. He loves it! He has seen it so many times that he knows what is happening and he will tell me that if it is too scary to cover my eyes. Kid always trying to protect mom! That was our weekend in a nut shell. What did you do?

Overweight And Exercise

We all have to start somewhere. Right? Did you wake up this morning and think, it is time for a change! I need to change? I don't want to be like this anymore. Now what do I do? Exercise is hard. It doesn't matter if you are a size 0 or a size 24. Exercise does take work and effort.

~2010. Picking my hubs up after a deployment and surprising him with all the work I did to lose 35 lbs!~

Here are a few pointers to think about as you begin this new journey in your life style change. YES! LIFE STYLE CHANGE! This is not an easy battle. It will take time, it should take time. There are no quick fixes to losing weight. There are no pills, special drinks or wraps that will accomplish the results that last. It is a total mindset. How can she say this. She is overweight and hasn't been able to keep the weight off herself. Why listen to Becky. Because I have been there. I am there. But I have also lost the weight. I lost 40 lbs and not just once I have done it a couple of times. I learned to eat right and what my body wanted and needed. I have also fallen off the wagon and I trying to climb back in. I am just like you who has dieted, tried pills, drinks, HCG, meal plans, starvation, Atkins, I have tried it all! 

~Hard work and dedication to exercise and eating right and her is what I looked like. I will be here again! I AM WORTH IT!~

The one thing that worked? Eating right and exercise. When I finally started to eat right the weight just fell off. I didn't even have to workout for an hour or 2 a day. I was doing 30 minutes of exercise and the weight just fell off. Well if it is so easy... IT IS NOT EASY! It takes work and a total commitment and I'm human. I really like ice cream, sweets, candy, cookies, pasta. I mean I really like them. I lose sight of what I really need to be doing. And I am worth more than that. I know I am. And it isn't about being SKINNY. I want to be HEALTHY. I want to be able to run more easily. I want to be at a healthier weight when I get pregnant again so that when I do gain weight through the pregnancy I am not pushing 300 lbs. That scares the crap out of me. And that is just more work to do in the end. So today, eating better. Shakeology so that I know I am getting my super foods that I need. More veggies. Exercise. I can and I WILL do this. WE CAN DO THIS! 

~3 months into my nutritionist given plan and I lost 20 lbs by this point. Time and dedication! That is all it takes!~

Let me know if you want to join my Facebook group to become the healthiest version of you!

Next Steps...

In an effort to keep this as real as possible and as honest with you guys as possible I wanted to share what has been going on with me over the past few weeks. You know about the miscarriage and all and that I have had a hard time mentally. I have finally decided to seek help with whatever mentally I am going through. It is through the urging of friends and family, especially my husband because I am not getting any better. If anything I am more distant and just keeping more to myself.

I am pretty sure I have some sort of postpartum depression or PTSD. But I don't feel right. I know that for sure and it is time to talk to someone to help me work through this. What made me realize that something was wrong is I have a major feeling of disconnect. I look forward to the times in the day that I get to myself so I can just watch a TV show or go into my books and escape from reality. I also have been more overwhelmed and I am quick to lose my cool with the kids. I already have a short fuse being a red head and all but I am having to rein in my frustrations a lot more than usual.

But the thing that is worrying my family the most is the disconnect. I can hardly handle touch sometimes. My skin just crawls and I should never feel like that. Speaking of skin, I have major body dysmorphia going on as well. Where I am just body slamming my body because it is a constant reminder that I am no longer pregnant. All I see is my bell that is sticking out too much for no excuse now. There is no baby in there. I gained too much weight I keep thinking, while I actually on gained 5 lbs.the first 3 months of pregnancy.  That's it. But all I see is frustration in myself and the fact that I don't feel comfortable in my own skin or my clothing. And now the though of how in the heck am I going to lose all this weight!

So now I am looking for a counselor to speak with to help me through this. I have worked with one other counselor before a few years ago. And it helped. For the most part. But this, I don't really know where to begin. I feel like I have too many problems going on. So it will be interesting with how it goes and how long I will see them. But I am getting the help that I need. And want. Thanks for listening friends!

If you missed my previous posts about my miscarriage, you can view them here:

Our Loss

Blessing In Disguise

Make You Or Break You: Emotions of a miscarriage

Infertility Awareness Week

We are currently in the middle of infertility awareness week and I have had a hard time getting up the strength to continue to talk about it at this time. I have been pretty open, but to be honest I am still learning to cope with what I went through. Multiple miscarriages is still considered infertility problems.

I am talking with others and trying to work through my feeling and emotions. I am keeping a journal right now that is just an ongoing non stop journal. I have titled it The Ramblings After A Miscarriage. I just recently showed it to my hubs and had him read it.

But yesterday evening just before I put the kids down for bed. I read this article. I couldn't even get through it without balling. I tried reading it out loud for Matt to hear and I just lost it. It pretty much sums up what I needed to hear right now. Especially the Create Space section.

I have had it in my mind that by such and such a date I should be all better. No more bleeding, no more running out of energy. No more dizzy spells or getting out of breath. And learning to deal with what I have already been through before. I put this time table on WHEN I SHOULD FEEL NORMAL. And honestly, I am past that "date" and I am frustrated. I am done feeling weak, broken. I just want to be normal but I still need time. Mentally and physically. It sucks. But there it is. It just takes time.

So please read this article to show your support for Infertility Awareness Week. Let me know what you think in the comments below! 

Please know I am so grateful for all of your support through prayers and emails or messages I have received. It has meant to so much to me. You are all amazing!

Waiting Game

~Tick tock goes the clock~

2.5 weeks since my miscarriage and I feel like I am just in a constant state of waiting. Waiting to feel better. Waiting to finally start exercising. Waiting to just feel NORMAL!

Recovery update: 2 days ago is when I finally feel like I am feeling somewhat "normal" again. I still get a little dizzy if I do too much too quickly. I am basically doing normal activities and household chores again, but at a much slower pace. I have to make myself remember to slow down. It is making my cleaning maybe a little bit more thorough though which is nice.

What I am doing: I have started adding in simple squats. Not a lot but just just like 3-5 at a time a couple of times a day. I am cleaning the house too which also burns calories. Oh and today, I am painting our bathroom. I had originally planned on doing our bathroom and our bedroom but scaled back to just our bathroom.

Don't worry about me. I am listening to my body and if it doesn't feel right. I stop. No questions asked. Oh and I am still drinking my green juice. (chlorophyll water)

I am hoping next week to start taking short walks with the boys around the neighborhood. This re-building blood thing is no joke! I am just thankful that I am here to do the laundry, clean the house and even paint my bathroom.

And a huge thank you to all that have helped us with words and emails of encouragement, advice, prayers, food, entertainment for our kids and even cleaning my house and doing my laundry. I am so humbled by all the loving support that we have received. Thank you friends!

Happy Easter

Happy Easter weekend. Today is Good Friday. And Sunday is Easter. I don't talk a whole lot about my own personal faith here but I do love Easter. I wanted to share this beautiful message that my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, made for this Easter season. Check it out. It doesn't matter if you are LDS or not, it is a great video! Let me know what you think.

Happy Easter. May we remember the season and what it truly means! #BecauseHeLives #IAmMormon

Snow Day...AGAIN!

Here we are on the 5th day of March and it is another snow day. What is cool about it is that Daddy even has to stay home from work. We might live across the street from his work but work said, "Nope! Stay home!" It is really nice because it gives him a day off since he won't have one this week due to military training. So we get a whole day to be together... The whole family! Stuck inside... THE WHOLE DAY!

Our snow days consist of a yummy breakfast, today we opted for Starbucks. And I usually try to make something homemade. Usually the yummy variety. And watching the snow fall outside. Mason loves to sit around and read books on my table from the Reading Rainbow App. Collin is just crawling around the house, exploring and babbling and standing up next to anything he can get stand up against. (Poor kid has a runny nose this morning thanks to his shots he got yesterday at his check up.)

That also means no gym for Matt, his work gym is closed. And you do not want me on the roads in snow to go to my gym, which is also closed. I am the driver that you should be scared of. I hate driving in snow. Scares me to death so I don't do it. EVER! Thankfully everything shuts down in this town when it snows!

(2 days ago before the new snow!)

Time to just relax, put on a good movie and chill with my family on this wonderful snowy day. So thankful for these days in my life. Later if we get enough snow Mason will go out sledding. Burn off some of his energy. One can only hope though.