4 The Wounded 5k

Now that I have had time to decompress over this weekend and pull myself back together a little bit I feel like I can fully write about what happened.

If you are following me on Facebook you probably already know some of what happened. But here is the whole story.

I have not run at all since before the 1o miler in March. I just didn't have it in me at all. I couldn't do it. I didn't want to do it. I was however, super excited for my 5k race at the beginning of June. It was the 2nd anniversary to my very first race ever! And I wanted to beat my time and I wanted to prove that I am still strong. The morning of the race I was feeling fine. I got the the location and I was feeling great. Super relaxed and just had fun people watching. I found my friend Jen and we were going to run down the hills and walk up the hills. Oh and she is 8 months pregnant. This course is all downhill for the first .5 miles, then you turn and have to come back up the hill for a good .75 miles. Then there is a turn off for a trail run or keep going up the hill for another .5 miles. Then down hill for the last little bit of it.

I knew the course and my goal was to make it to the bottom of the hill without stopping. I could do that. Well I did most of it walking just the last little bit. I was breathing too hard and I knew I had a hard hill coming up. So Jen kept going and that was the last of her silver skirt I saw! SHE KICKED MY BUTT at 8 months pregnant. So I started walking up the hill. The sun and humidity was beating down on me. I was feeling a little icky and by the time I got up the the area where the start/finish line was I was debating on not finishing. I was done. I didn't want to do anymore. But I kept going. Walking up that hill. The hill that never ended.

Jen said that the trail run was awesome and shaded and not that bad and you miss a big hill doing it. So I decided to do it. I needed the shade anyways. I was so pretty. And very muddy and slick. I just kept on walking. It was all down hill and took us around a little lake But before I knew it my trail walk was turning into a nature hike. What goes down must come up. Little ups and downs, then big ups and no downs. I haven't hiked in forever and my body hated me! I knew I was coming close to the end of the trail when I just had to keep going up and up and up. By the end of the trail hike I was breathing super hard and taking little stops to catch my breath. What was wrong with me? I have been working out everyday.

I cam up on the end of the trail and back to the asphalt that was hotter than I remember. I stopped to talk to my coach from the 10 miler and told him what happened and then I lost it. I had to go off to the side. I just couldn't catch my breath. I couldn't breath, started getting light headed and all panicky. Here I was on a 5k and I was having a mental breakdown and panic attack.

Mentally I didn't prepare myself for the race or what it would mean to me. It was my first race since the 10 miler, where that night is when I had my miscarriage. This is actually a big thing for me to overcome. I actually admitted out loud to a volunteer that I didn't think I could do it. But after a minute or two I pulled myself together and said I was going to finish. So one step, after another step and I just kept going. Not stopping. And before I knew it I could see the finish line. I ran it in with Jen, who finished like 15 min before I did. And right as I crossed ran into a friend from the 10 miler training program asking how my pregnancy was going. YEAH that SUCKED! Told her what happened and she felt awful. I said my  "see ya later," and kept going. I ran into some other friends from the Woman's 4 miler training program and I cried it out with them a little. But I finished the race.

This was the most difficult race mentally I have ever done. The half marathon, I knew that I just had to keep walking. I had no desire to stop because if I stopped I wouldn't be able to start up again. I never once admitted that I didn't want to finish because I HAD TO FINISH! That race was all physical. This race was all mental. And it wiped me out for the whole weekend. I got into a huge funk and it has been so hard to get out of.

But after yoga and a HARD workout last night I am doing so much better. I just needed to get my focus back. The race was an obvious trigger for me and I still have some PTSD issues to work through. But now I know what to expect and I can prep for it better next time.

I will say I am proud of myself for finishing because I really didn't want to. I wanted to give up, but I know I am stronger than I think. And sometimes I just need to push myself more than I ever want to realize just how strong I really am.

Motivation? Where Did It Go???

Motivation is the number one thing that can stop you cold in your tracks to something new you are trying to do. Whether it is looking for a new job, exercise or just finding a new pair of pants. If you have a hole in the crotch of your pants you are going to be pretty darn motivated to buy a new pair of pants but if you are in comfy in yoga pants and they can pass as all day wear, you are not going to be getting a new pair of pants for awhile! Right?!?

Well we all have those days where you just don't want to do it. Exercise I am talking about. I have days where I don't want to do it. And it is totally normal and it happens. But, if you want to make your goals and achieve great things. You gotta do it.

Here is my tip if you are just tired and can't find that motivation. Just do 10 minutes. Start doing 10 minutes (I aim for 15 min that way I know I am at least doing half my workout!) Most of the time you will feel fine and be able to finish it but if you aren't, then stop. Your body might need to rest and that is ok. Don't push beyond what your body wants to do. It can just make you feel worse!

It's ok to have a bad day. But the trick is to NEVER GIVE UP! Don't just stop because you had one bad day. Do a little and you might get your groove back. Or do a little in the morning and by later in the day you will feel better and can finish it up. Listen to your body. IT knows what you need and don't need! And by the next day you should feel just fine to get back into it. Just don't make everyday a rest day!

~3 days left until I find out exactly how many inches and weight I have lost! Be sure to check back on Monday!~

A Little Grain of Faith

I am so thankful for the chance that we have to have faith in something. To have faith in ourselves, our situation and our circumstances. And seriously our faith can be bigger than your fear. This morning I have been talking with a woman about wanting more children. But it might not happen. I am in the same place. I was told that I could have more children, but what if I don't? Am I ok with that? I am still working on the answer, but I have faith that we have one more child meant to come to our family. I have so much faith in general. About my life, family and businesses. I put all my faith in front of me right now it seems.

I am not saying that I am perfect. No way, no how. But I know that if something is meant to happen that it will. I have always believed that. It took us 9 years to get Mason. To get my first positive pregnancy test. After my second miscarriage, I lost my faith. I didn't want to believe anymore because it was too hard. But I got stronger and started having faith again.

I was reminded of one of my favorite talks today and encourage you that if you just need a little ounce of faith building today read it. Listen to this talk. Know that you are not alone. Know that we all struggle with something. Exercise is so hard. Changing your diet or lifestyle is so very hard. Losing a child or family members is devastating  Dealing with the kids. Not having children. Finding a job or switching jobs. Struggling with a family member who has lost their way. And a thousand more things. The key though getting through your tough times, your challenges, your trials is to keep your faith. As hard as it is sometimes that little grain of faith is all we have. But you have to keep moving on. Let your faith be stronger than your fear of not moving forward. Of trying that hard exercise. Of changing your lifestyle. Keep your faith.

If you have a few minutes to watch this and need a booster in your faith, please check this out. I so encourage you to take just a little bit of time and check out the following video. It is amazing and helps to remind me that I am not alone in my struggles.

Tips to Dealing With The Chaos As Mom

I'm a stay at home mom, but don't stop reading if you aren't because even working moms feel the same way. We as mother's deal with a lot of screaming, temper tantrums, frustrations and don't get me started on the motherlode diapers that reach all the way to the head. EWWW!

Every morning I have a toddler screaming at me to make his "Eggies, jelly and cow mark, NOW" A dog trying to kill me to get my attention to feed him and a baby screaming at me because a) he is hungry and b) he wants to be picked up. But somehow I don't really hear it. I get into my little zone where I just work and say to everyone, "It takes a little time to make everything." I try to get Mason to feed the dog, because that is his chore and eventually he does but then it is the chase to try and get Collin to not eat the dog food. Yeah, we have a dog food eater!

But we learn to deal with the chaos as a mother. The same scenario happens at dinnertime too. How do we learn as mother's do deal with this? When I was recovering from my surgery Matt said that it took 2 people to do my job and still they weren't as good as what I did. Sometimes it can get frustrating. Sometimes we lose our cool. Sometimes we just can't do it anymore. Here are some tips to help combat the chaos.

1. Work really hard not to yell. It is so easy just to do it to get their attention but it is hurtful to them and they will never forget it. Even this morning, I raised my voice to have Mason close the back door. Because I didn't hear him do it and he has been leaving the door open. Mason ran and hid because he didn't want to get in trouble. He actually did close the door and I raised my voice at him. Why am I telling you this? Because this is something I am working on every single day. I am trying to sit down with Mason and explain things to him in a calm rational way so that he can learn and I don't want him to be scared of me. That ain't cool!

2. Deep breathing. This helps me because I can feel my boiling point rise, and rise so I have to just tune them out, as hard as it can be sometimes, but I just focus on me so that I don't scream and yell and lose my cool! So I deep breath to help me relax a little.

3. Count to 10 slowly. My dad told me this advice. Count to 10 before you react. So that you don't over react and regret something in the end. Kids are an open letter. They wear they heart on the sleeves. They show their emotions without any filters. If you over react they will learn to over react.

4. Show them love. Always tell them that you love them. Show them that you love them every chance you can get. Give them a hug. Tell them how awesome they are. Let them learn to trust you. Let them know you love them.

5. Have fun and teach them at the same time. If it is safe ask for their help. I have Mason count the eggs. The ones in the carton and the ones in the pan and how many are left after I put them in the pan. It keeps them occupied and entertained and lets them learn too. Doesn't help much with Collin but it can help teach him patience. And he wants to do everything that Mason does so if Mason is calm he usually is too!

Life as a mom is not always stressful and full of chaos. There are some pretty amazing times too and I look to those memories and love and cherish them more and more everyday because I will never get those memories again. Brothers meeting for the first time. First baths together. 2 boys playing together for the first time. I love my life, the amazing, the noisy and the chaos!

Good Before The Bad

I'm a private music teacher and right now we are preparing for our BIG spring recital. Basically it is the culmination of everything they have learned in the last year. During our lessons the last 2 weeks I have been having the students "perform" for me to help them prepare. After they finish and practice their bows we talk about how they did. I always ask, "Tell me 3 things you did really great!" Often a student will say, "I kept the tempo except at this place." I then say, "only positive. So you kept the tempo at the beginning really well, right." They nod and get a smile on their face because they realize that they really did do well! Then we continue with the other 2 things that they did well. Most of the time they have to really think about what they did well. And it is hard for them. I help them along and then we talk about 3 things that needs improvement.

The first inclination my students have it to say something that needs improvement. I am so sad that a 6 year old and older already see the negative in their life before they see the good. I know they want to do better but I think it is so important that we always look for the good and then we look for the bad. I get it that adults think this way because eventually through school and receiving homework we find out the bad before we realize the good. But if we could change our way of thinking. Imagine how much more positive our lives would be. 

Yes, this is a the glass is half full kind of thinking but that's ok. The main thing is to always remain positive. In working out with Matt I have caught him saying, "ouch I'm really sore, or that really hurt." But hun you did the workout, you did the exercise. Be glad that you were able to do it with 10 lbs weight. (he has chronic tendon problems and sometimes lifting weights can be really hard on his body.)

During this week I want to challenge you. At the end of the day think of 3 awesome things  you did. Think about your whole day. Write it down and write how your day went. The reason for writing it down is to see if it influences the way you think about the next day and the next. Did you talk to someone new? Did you compliment someone? Did you get your report turned in on time? Did you play more with your kids? Try it out and see what happens! Good luck and let me know below! Leave a comment! Like my FACEBOOK page! Send me a message or EMAIL! Let me know how it went! 

How To Save Money With Food Storage

The other day, I decided to take a look into our deep freezer. I was on the search for breakfast burritos that I made a few months ago as a easy dinner night. Just a grab and go type of meal! When I opened up the top and looked into the mass of frozen foods and meals I was shocked to see what was in there. Chicken breasts, chicken tenders, a STEAK! Chicken pieces, bread from panara that was given to us, meals that were given to us when I was in the hospital. Nuts, veggies! I was shocked. I didn't even realize what food I had under my own roof!

My normal procedure before I go to the store is to look around upstairs in my kitchen where the mostly everyday used items are and see what needs replenshment, and what foods I am going to be making for the week. I check the freezer, oops out of chicken again, add it to the list. And so forth! But I had forgotten to check what I already had. BAD ME!

Again this happened last night. I knew we had cans of veggies and stuff but WE HAVE A LOT OF CANS! And I bought some corn at the store when I already had 6 down stairs, after closer inspection! So my solution: MAKE AN INVENTORY LIST! Neat concept huh! Why didn't I think of this earlier is all I keep saying because this has happened before. I send the hubs out at 6pm, "I need some taco seasoning we don't have any." 2 days later I go down and find 2 bags of it! EEK...Sorry babe!

So I finally made an inventory list! YEA! I am going to hang this in the inside of my pantry door so I will have everything at a glance. Having a food storage is a great thing, but you can't just hold onto everything forever. You have to rotate it through. You need to use it and buy more eventually, but for the mean time I am going to be saving lots of money not having to buy chicken for the next month I think. Yeah, I have that much chicken down there! CRAZY!

Now I can just cross off what I use or add more marks when I buy!

So here are tips on how to save money on food storage.

***Coupons, coupons, coupons! How do you think we got so many tomatoes! Watch the coupon sites to see when canned foods go on sale. Try to stock up on the actual coupons so that you can use more than one coupon at the same time. Know the difference between manufacturer coupons and the store coupons. They are different! Because you can use a manufacturer coupon on top of a store coupon on top of a sale! LOTS of money to be saved. Check out Krazy Coupon Lady to get the full details on how to use coupons, what coupons are out now and all the deets you need! This is how we have 23 cans of tomatoes! Oh and double/triple coupon sales too! Those are great!

***Store sales. Combining the coupons on top of sales helps you save even more money. So if you have a sale for 2 cans of beans for $.99 and a coupon for $.50 off then you are going to get 2 cans of beans for only $.50.

***Watch for bulk sales. At Harris Teeter they have a sale of 10 for $10. Which is a really great sale because it is usually mix and match. But add a coupon on top and save more money.

***Make sure that you rotate through your supply. It doesn't last forever so you can't just hoard it. So make sure that you buy what you use so that it isn't collecting dust. You are wasting money on it to buy it if you aren't going to use it, or eventually going to use it. Make sure it is something that you will use! (Believe it or not we had a whole lot more than the 23 cans of tomatoes! We use about 1-2 cans a week!)

Never Give Up!

Believe you can do lose weight and you will! You are worth it to be happy. And not settling for how you feel just because you have tried in the past and things didn't work out like you wanted. YOU CAN DO THIS! You just have to keep trying, keep working and NEVER give up!

Support is out there for you! You just have to be ready for it and when you are, nothing will stop you! EVER!

June 30 day Challenge Sexy Arms Dumbbell Circuit

Time for a new 30 day challenge. This is more for increasing your arms strength but also to build endurance. As you get comfortable with these exercises increase your cardio up to X20. By the end of the month aim for 20 minutes of cardio along with increasing in weight to the next higher dumbbell for you. So if you start with 5 pound weights by the end of the month your goal is to be up to 8-10 pounds. 

Good luck! And for more daily motivation be sure to follow me on FACEBOOK! 

Last Call...

It's the last call to be part of my 30 day challenge group for June! 

Why do I host these challenge groups? Because I know that exercise is easier with a buddy to join you! Seriously, how much faster does a workout go when you have someone doing it right along with you. Last July when I was a participant in my FIRST challenge group (not hosting actually a challenger) I was excited to do my workout and to tell everyone in the group about it. You could tell the ones who wanted it compared to the ones. We all supported each other, asked question and made it fun. I had daily motivation that made me think about how to better myself on the inside while I worked on the outside. It gave me confidence I didn't know I was lacking. I learned a ton about myself that first 60 days and I am so thankful to my friend Janet for encouraging me to join the challenge group. Take that first step and do it! 

I am offering that same opportunity to take that first step. Decide to do this for you. Commit yourself to 30 days of eating clean, working out and enhancing your life through positive thinking. Today is the last day that I will accept people (within reason of course) into the group! I want to be there for you. I want to help you. Let me walk you through this. Take that first step! 

Join me this JUNE for our challenge group to help you get started! Fill out the form below to let me know you are interested!
Being part of the challenge group you as the challenger get:

One on one support from me to help you set and reach your goals.

Daily motivation.

Work with a program that is just right for you to fit your lifestyle.

Provide you with recipes and a meal guide

Daily dose of nutrition.

Plus you will be with other people just like you in our PRIVATE accountability group where you can ask questions and get real answers.

Our Motto for June is: It's not about being skinny. It's about gaining confidence, better health, more energy and HAPPINESS!

(Please do not apply if you are currently a Beachbody Coach, are already working with a Beachbody coach (other than me) or are not willing to make a small investment in your health and wellness.)

Hurt So Good

Why does it hurt so good??? Am I crazy or just weird. I love it now Getting that burn from exercise. (at least on my legs. Shoulders, HA that is another story. I wimp out way too quickly!) Last night Matt and I were doing our lower body workout and man I was burning. I was on fire, but I just kept going. I pushed through the pain. I DID IT! After 3 weeks of doing my lower body exercise, I feel like I finally accomplished something huge! I didn't give up. I just kept going. I told Matt how much I hated that exercise because it hurts so bad while doing it but it FEELS SO GOOD AFTER!

But why does it hurt so good? Remember in Legally Blond how Elle Woods says, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't kill their husbands." (it's true I don't get as frustrated with Matt after exercising!) But it is true. That burning sensation of the lactic acid also releases the endorphins that make you happy. And when you do enough you get that little "runners high" (even if you aren't doing running you still get that little high). Plus it is making you stronger with every single burn. Your muscles are working then recovering, then working then recovering. That is why it is so important to rest between days of working out. (don't do leg day twice in a row!)

When you don't think you can any more reps of your exercise, I dare you, no, no, double dog dare you, to do 2 more. Get that burn. Let it burn. Because it will be so good for your body and for your mind. Push past the burn. I know it sucks and that it is hard but you will love it when you get the results that you want!