Overweight And Exercise

We all have to start somewhere. Right? Did you wake up this morning and think, it is time for a change! I need to change? I don't want to be like this anymore. Now what do I do? Exercise is hard. It doesn't matter if you are a size 0 or a size 24. Exercise does take work and effort.

~2010. Picking my hubs up after a deployment and surprising him with all the work I did to lose 35 lbs!~

Here are a few pointers to think about as you begin this new journey in your life style change. YES! LIFE STYLE CHANGE! This is not an easy battle. It will take time, it should take time. There are no quick fixes to losing weight. There are no pills, special drinks or wraps that will accomplish the results that last. It is a total mindset. How can she say this. She is overweight and hasn't been able to keep the weight off herself. Why listen to Becky. Because I have been there. I am there. But I have also lost the weight. I lost 40 lbs and not just once I have done it a couple of times. I learned to eat right and what my body wanted and needed. I have also fallen off the wagon and I trying to climb back in. I am just like you who has dieted, tried pills, drinks, HCG, meal plans, starvation, Atkins, I have tried it all! 

~Hard work and dedication to exercise and eating right and her is what I looked like. I will be here again! I AM WORTH IT!~

The one thing that worked? Eating right and exercise. When I finally started to eat right the weight just fell off. I didn't even have to workout for an hour or 2 a day. I was doing 30 minutes of exercise and the weight just fell off. Well if it is so easy... IT IS NOT EASY! It takes work and a total commitment and I'm human. I really like ice cream, sweets, candy, cookies, pasta. I mean I really like them. I lose sight of what I really need to be doing. And I am worth more than that. I know I am. And it isn't about being SKINNY. I want to be HEALTHY. I want to be able to run more easily. I want to be at a healthier weight when I get pregnant again so that when I do gain weight through the pregnancy I am not pushing 300 lbs. That scares the crap out of me. And that is just more work to do in the end. So today, eating better. Shakeology so that I know I am getting my super foods that I need. More veggies. Exercise. I can and I WILL do this. WE CAN DO THIS! 

~3 months into my nutritionist given plan and I lost 20 lbs by this point. Time and dedication! That is all it takes!~

Let me know if you want to join my Facebook group to become the healthiest version of you!

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I mentioned this in a previous post that I was having some serious body dysmorphia. Here is what it is. *Please know I have not been clinically diagnosed with this disorder but it is a real thing. I have been like this before.* Basically is is body shamming of your own body. Where you spend a substantial amount of time a day thinking about the flaws of your body and how to hid or improve them. You see your body in a negative light regardless of how it really is. You can't see yourself correctly. I feel like I am looking in a fun house mirror right now and I have been trying to avoid the mirror at all costs.

Since the miscarriage I have been so disappointed with my belly size. It has been a constant reminder of what is not growing in there any more. My scale was broken so I couldn't be obsessed with my weight, which is a good thing but nothing fits me right anymore.

Before going to the gym I have been changing my shirts multiple times trying to find one that would "hide" my belly more so I wouldn't look as bad as I think I do. None of my pants fit and all my shirts are too tight in the belly and I don't want to wear my maternity shirts anymore because I can't handle it.

I spoke with a counselor the other day on the phone because I needed to speak with one and her first question, "How are you feeling?" "FAT" is how I responded. Seriously the first thing out of my mouth was be belittling my body.

I have been like this before and I learned to love my body for me. Seriously. I do love my body. It has done amazing things. I have done a 1/2 marathon. Trained for a 10 miler. I have carried and birthed 2 healthy boys. I have nursed for 27 months now (not all in a row of course.) It is amazing but I am not happy with the shape of my body and how I look. People have been telling me, "It's ok. You were pregnant. It is going to take time to get back to normal." But what do you do when you can't fit anything? Yoga pants everyday? Yep, cause that is all that fits. And skirts.

It is not ok to hate your body. We all have flaws. And it is ok. I will forever have stretch marks from when I gained weight too fast before I even had any kids. On the flip side, I have a killer smile that I LOVE! I have a fun loving personality and I love teaching. So now that I recognize that I have a problem with how I have been looking at myself it is time to turn it around and do something about it!

One thing that I do know, is that if I am truly so displeased with my body shape than I can do something about it. Exercise. And eating better. That will help my body shed the weight but it will take work. And that is exactly what I need right now. I need some busy work to get me to lose this weight. It's ok to want to make yourself healthy but to do it in a healthy manner. Hating yourself and feeling completely disgusted with how you look is not healthy. You can talk to someone, you can talk to me and we can work through it together.

Goals:
~Speak with a counselor to work through my miscarriage.
~Drink Shakeology everyday to get my superfood that my body needs to help me be as healthy as possible!
~Exercise 4-5 days a week. 2 days on cardio and 2 days on strength training specifically.
~Make smart eating choices. Smaller appropriate portions and eat more veggies.

If you want to join me in my journey to a healthy you, please let me know! I can start up a private Facebook group and we can do this TOGETHER! Email me at connectthedotsginger@gmail.com or comment below!

QOTD: Have you ever felt like this? Not happy with something about you? What did you do to overcome the feelings?

Next Steps...

In an effort to keep this as real as possible and as honest with you guys as possible I wanted to share what has been going on with me over the past few weeks. You know about the miscarriage and all and that I have had a hard time mentally. I have finally decided to seek help with whatever mentally I am going through. It is through the urging of friends and family, especially my husband because I am not getting any better. If anything I am more distant and just keeping more to myself.

I am pretty sure I have some sort of postpartum depression or PTSD. But I don't feel right. I know that for sure and it is time to talk to someone to help me work through this. What made me realize that something was wrong is I have a major feeling of disconnect. I look forward to the times in the day that I get to myself so I can just watch a TV show or go into my books and escape from reality. I also have been more overwhelmed and I am quick to lose my cool with the kids. I already have a short fuse being a red head and all but I am having to rein in my frustrations a lot more than usual.

But the thing that is worrying my family the most is the disconnect. I can hardly handle touch sometimes. My skin just crawls and I should never feel like that. Speaking of skin, I have major body dysmorphia going on as well. Where I am just body slamming my body because it is a constant reminder that I am no longer pregnant. All I see is my bell that is sticking out too much for no excuse now. There is no baby in there. I gained too much weight I keep thinking, while I actually on gained 5 lbs.the first 3 months of pregnancy.  That's it. But all I see is frustration in myself and the fact that I don't feel comfortable in my own skin or my clothing. And now the though of how in the heck am I going to lose all this weight!

So now I am looking for a counselor to speak with to help me through this. I have worked with one other counselor before a few years ago. And it helped. For the most part. But this, I don't really know where to begin. I feel like I have too many problems going on. So it will be interesting with how it goes and how long I will see them. But I am getting the help that I need. And want. Thanks for listening friends!

If you missed my previous posts about my miscarriage, you can view them here:

Our Loss

Blessing In Disguise

Make You Or Break You: Emotions of a miscarriage

Training Begins

So I am saying that my training for my half marathon this fall begins yesterday! Yep, I am definitely thinking that I will be doing my 2nd half marathon this fall. And why start yesterday? Because I honestly think it will take me that long to get me in running shape. So sad, but I have to start somewhere and yesterday was that somewhere.

I went to the gym. Ideas of grandeur were in my mind as to what I was going to do. I was going to just walk at about 3.7 on the treadmill, like I always do, for 30 minutes. Then do 30 min of the elliptical.

Things didn't go as planned. I started at 3.5 for warm up and I could already feel it. My heart rate was getting high and making me out of breath. I then went up to 3.7 and used the heart rate monitor on the machine and my pulse was above 160. Nope. Time to slow it down. So I just continued at a leisurely 2.8-3.5 pace the whole time. Increasing the pace for a couple of minutes then backing it down for a couple of more. I made it 30 minutes. And just over 1.75 miles. But I was worn out. Sweaty and breathing like I just ran 2 miles. So my starting point. Walking at an 18:30 min mile pace. UGH! Hate that but at least I can only get better. And I skipped the elliptical. I did 30 minutes. I did well for my first day back.

Goals for this week. 2 days of strength training and 3-4 days of cardio. 1 day down only a few  more to go! Here we go! LET THE TRAINING BEGIN!

It's Running Time...Almost

~Whew! I need to look into a wrinkle cream because I am looking my age! Unintentional photo bomb by Mason!~

Yesterday I got the all clear to start normal activities again. Doc is happy with my physical progress and says that everyday will get better with the mental progress. But there will still be good days and bad days.

I told him about my cleaning frenzy and how that is how I am getting my anger/frustrations out. He said to divide up the energy towards cleaning the house and running/exercising. Funny thing, most of  my appointments are spent talking races. My doc casually says today, "I think I am going to do the park to park race this weekend just for fun..." Yeah cause running a whole marathon takes no effort at all. My doc is pretty awesome because he will be up most the night delivering babies and wake up at 5 am to do an 18 mile run, for fun. And he needs the break to clear his head too I guess.

He encouraged me to keep signing up for races and just to keep on doing it. He loves that I enjoy running and thinks it is just an overall great thing for me to do. However, I am still a little anemic so for the next 2 weeks he said light exercise. No sprinting exercises (like I do that anyway!) And that if I get light headed, dizzy or out of breath than I am pushing too hard. Here is to 2 weeks of light exercise then off I go. I have got to get run ready for the woman's 4 miler training program that begins in like 6 weeks! EEK! Oh and I decided that I will be running my 2nd half marathon this fall. So my training will ultimately be for the 1/2 in November. YEA! Start the countdown to kicking my own butt!

~Pix above is me excited about getting to get back to it and not be stuck in my house! I also did my hair differently. I have never curled it like this (excpet for family pictures) but I thought I would try something new. I didn't get it cut. Honestly, I need a change and I don't want to cut it and I am getting to that awkward "funky length phase" for growing out my hair! So what do you think on the hair? Yea or Nay???~