In 2003 I was diagnosed with PCOS. Matt and I had been married for a year at this point and "assumed" that we would have gotten pregnant right away. When that didn't happen we made our way to the docs and had them run some tests to see what was going on and we were told that I had to lose weight (10-15 pounds) to get pregnant and that I suffered from PCOS. I was like, "what the heck is that!" I was actually mad at the doc for telling me I had to lose weight. Surely I would get pregnant have the baby then breastfeed all the baby weight and excess weight off. Right?!? I finally started to research what PCOS was. To educate myself and now I feel like PCOS (poly cystic ovary syndrome) is much more common, or well known now than in was back in 2003. (by the way writing 2003 just seems so surreal that it was 13 years ago!)
After that appointment I was so bummed. My plans of getting pregnant right away, breastfeeding the weight I gained over the last year was GONE! And now on top of that I had to actually lose weight to get pregnant because I let myself eat what I wanted since I thought it would be easy to get pregnant. Over the course of the next 7 years I went up, up and up in my weight. I battled with depression and anger and sadness with how difficult it was for us. I saw 3 different fertility specialists, the second being so bad that he let me stay on a drug that I didn't even need.
During my 8 year wait to get pregnant I had a massive doughnut and sweets addiction. Every time I would go to the grocery story I would pick up a doughnut. And over time it became 2 doughnuts, then 2 doughnuts and a candy bar. Chocolate Long John's with sprinkles, no filling, were my vice. What made it even worse is that I would eat them in the 5 minutes it took to get from the store to my house where my husband would be waiting for me. I had to "hide the evidence" from him because I didn't want him to know the real reason why I had to go to the grocery store for the 3rd time that week. I was addicted. They helped me feel less bad for a good 5 minutes then of course I felt worse because I just stuffed 2 huge doughnuts in my face and a candy bar and hid it from my hubs.
It wasn't until I reach 239 pounds that I finally decided that I was done with feeling sorry for myself and holding myself back. I sought out a personal trainer and started working on me. It became my obsession. Matt was deployed for a time and I just put everything I had into it. I finally lost the weight I had been trying so desperately wanting to lose. 31 pounds. I started at 228 and hit 197 before I got pregnant through the help of an actual endocrinologists that specialized in fertility treatments and not just dabbling in it like #2.
I tell you all this because what I have learned, what actually worked for me to get pregnant is, that with every single pregnancy I have had I have always been in the pursuit for my health. To not be just skinny but to actually be healthy. Eating the right foods and exercising. That very first doctor in 2003 who said, "if you could just lose 10-15 pounds your chances of getting pregnant increase." With PCOS there is a hormone imbalance and often it is accompanied with a insulin resistance. Through exercise it can help to balance out your hormones and through eating right you won't be putting the foods in your body that give us the problems. Filling your body with good carbs and not junk foods and sweets which make your blood sugars tank! It wasn't until I stopped using a prescribed medication that was meant to help balance my insulin resistance that I got pregnant because I started to feed my body the foods it needed. Not necessarily what I wanted to eat.
My recommendation to all of you suffering from PCOS and wanting to get pregnant is:
1) First look at your eating habits. Really look at them. I was in such denial about my eating that I just didn't see it. I truly couldn't see how bad it was until I hit rock bottom and had to change. It wasn't until I realized that what I was doing was more harm than good.
2) Next, start to change. Change the foods you are eating. Change how often. Seek help. And start exercising. Let that become your obsession. Let eating clean and healthy be your obsession. Not the junk foods. Not the sweet treats. As hard as it is and as tempting as they are, they are not doing you any good. They are the complete opposite of what you want and what your body needs to get pregnant and be healthy.
3) Accept your body for as it is. That it does have a condition which makes it more difficult to get pregnant and to then sustain a pregnancy (in my case). Learn to love your body and not hate it because it really is amazing. When you start to feed it right and learn to love your body, changes will happen. As frustrating as it is to get a negative pregnancy test every single month, keep fighting for what you want. Never give up and believe in your body for what it can do!
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