Privacy Policy

Privacy Policy

Last updated: March 27, 2020

This Privacy Policy describes Our policies and procedures on the collection, use and disclosure of Your information when You use the Service and tells You about Your privacy rights and how the law protects You.

We use Your Personal data to provide and improve the Service. By using the Service, You agree to the collection and use of information in accordance with this Privacy Policy.

Interpretation and Definitions

Interpretation

The words of which the initial letter is capitalized have meanings defined under the following conditions.

The following definitions shall have the same meaning regardless of whether they appear in singular or in plural.

Definitions

For the purposes of this Privacy Policy:

You means the individual accessing or using the Service, or the company, or other legal entity on behalf of which such individual is accessing or using the Service, as applicable.

Under GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation), You can be referred to as the Data Subject or as the User as you are the individual using the Service.

Company (referred to as either "the Company", "We", "Us" or "Our" in this Agreement) refers to Connect The Dots Ginger.

For the purpose of the GDPR, the Company is the Data Controller.

• Affiliate means an entity that controls, is controlled by or is under common control with a party, where "control" means ownership of 50% or more of the shares, equity interest or other securities entitled to vote for election of directors or other managing authority.
• Account means a unique account created for You to access our Service or parts of our Service.
• Website refers to Connect The Dots Ginger, accessible from http://connectthedotsginger.com
• Service refers to the Website.
• Country refers to: Virginia, United States

Service Provider means any natural or legal person who processes the data on behalf of the Company. It refers to third-party companies or individuals employed by the Company to facilitate the Service, to provide the Service on behalf of the Company, to perform services related to the Service or to assist the Company in analyzing how the Service is used.

For the purpose of the GDPR, Service Providers are considered Data Processors.

• Third-party Social Media Service refers to any website or any social network website through which a User can log in or create an account to use the Service.
• Facebook Fan Page is a public profile named Connect The Dots Ginger specifically created by the Company on the Facebook social network, accessible from https://www.facebook.com/connectthedotsginger/

Personal Data is any information that relates to an identified or identifiable individual.

For the purposes for GDPR, Personal Data means any information relating to You such as a name, an identification number, location data, online identifier or to one or more factors specific to the physical, physiological, genetic, mental, economic, cultural or social identity.

For the purposes of the CCPA, Personal Data means any information that identifies, relates to, describes or is capable of being associated with, or could reasonably be linked, directly or indirectly, with You.

• Cookies are small files that are placed on Your computer, mobile device or any other device by a website, containing the details of Your browsing history on that website among its many uses.
• Usage Data refers to data collected automatically, either generated by the use of the Service or from the Service infrastructure itself (for example, the duration of a page visit).
• Data Controller, for the purposes of the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation), refers to the Company as the legal person which alone or jointly with others determines the purposes and means of the processing of Personal Data.
• Do Not Track (DNT) is a concept that has been promoted by US regulatory authorities, in particular the U.S. Federal Trade Commission (FTC), for the Internet industry to develop and implement a mechanism for allowing internet users to control the tracking of their online activities across websites.
• Business, for the purpose of the CCPA (California Consumer Privacy Act), refers to the Company as the legal entity that collects Consumers' personal information and determines the purposes and means of the processing of Consumers' personal information, or on behalf of which such information is collected and that alone, or jointly with others, determines the purposes and means of the processing of consumers' personal information, that does business in the State of California.
• Consumer, for the purpose of the CCPA (California Consumer Privacy Act), means a natural person who is a California resident. A resident, as defined in the law, includes (1) every individual who is in the USA for other than a temporary or transitory purpose, and (2) every individual who is domiciled in the USA who is outside the USA for a temporary or transitory purpose.
• Sale, for the purpose of the CCPA (California Consumer Privacy Act), means selling, renting, releasing, disclosing, disseminating, making available, transferring, or otherwise communicating orally, in writing, or by electronic or other means, a Consumer's Personal information to another business or a third party for monetary or other valuable consideration.

Collecting and Using Your Personal Data

Types of Data Collected

Personal Data

While using Our Service, We may ask You to provide Us with certain personally identifiable information that can be used to contact or identify You. Personally identifiable information may include, but is not limited to:

• Email address
• First name and last name
• Usage Data

Usage Data

Usage Data is collected automatically when using the Service.

Usage Data may include information such as Your Device's Internet Protocol address (e.g. IP address), browser type, browser version, the pages of our Service that You visit, the time and date of Your visit, the time spent on those pages, unique device identifiers and other diagnostic data.

When You access the Service by or through a mobile device, We may collect certain information automatically, including, but not limited to, the type of mobile device You use, Your mobile device unique ID, the IP address of Your mobile device, Your mobile operating system, the type of mobile Internet browser You use, unique device identifiers and other diagnostic data.

We may also collect information that Your browser sends whenever You visit our Service or when You access the Service by or through a mobile device.

Tracking Technologies and Cookies

We use Cookies and similar tracking technologies to track the activity on Our Service and store certain information. Tracking technologies used are beacons, tags, and scripts to collect and track information and to improve and analyze Our Service.

You can instruct Your browser to refuse all Cookies or to indicate when a Cookie is being sent. However, if You do not accept Cookies, You may not be able to use some parts of our Service.

Cookies can be "Persistent" or "Session" Cookies. Persistent Cookies remain on your personal computer or mobile device when You go offline, while Session Cookies are deleted as soon as You close your web browser. Learn more about cookies here: Cookies: What Do They Do?

We use both session and persistent Cookies for the purposes set out below:

Necessary / Essential Cookies

Type: Session Cookies

Administered by: Us

Purpose: These Cookies are essential to provide You with services available through the Website and to enable You to use some of its features. They help to authenticate users and prevent fraudulent use of user accounts. Without these Cookies, the services that You have asked for cannot be provided, and We only use these Cookies to provide You with those services.

Cookies Policy / Notice Acceptance Cookies

Type: Persistent Cookies

Administered by: Us

Purpose: These Cookies identify if users have accepted the use of cookies on the Website.

Functionality Cookies

Type: Persistent Cookies

Administered by: Us

Purpose: These Cookies allow us to remember choices You make when You use the Website, such as remembering your login details or language preference. The purpose of these Cookies is to provide You with a more personal experience and to avoid You having to re-enter your preferences every time You use the Website.

Tracking and Performance Cookies

Type: Persistent Cookies

Administered by: Third-Parties

Purpose: These Cookies are used to track information about traffic to the Website and how users use the Website. The information gathered via these Cookies may directly or indirectly identify you as an individual visitor. This is because the information collected is typically linked to a pseudonymous identifier associated with the device you use to access the Website. We may also use these Cookies to test new advertisements, pages, features or new functionality of the Website to see how our users react to them.

Targeting and Advertising Cookies

Type: Persistent Cookies

Administered by: Third-Parties

Purpose: These Cookies track your browsing habits to enable Us to show advertising which is more likely to be of interest to You. These Cookies use information about your browsing history to group You with other users who have similar interests. Based on that information, and with Our permission, third party advertisers can place Cookies to enable them to show adverts which We think will be relevant to your interests while You are on third party websites.

For more information about the cookies we use and your choices regarding cookies, please visit our Cookies Policy.

Use of Your Personal Data

The Company may use Personal Data for the following purposes:

• To provide and maintain our Service, including to monitor the usage of our Service.
• To manage Your Account: to manage Your registration as a user of the Service. The Personal Data You provide can give You access to different functionalities of the Service that are available to You as a registered user.
• For the performance of a contract: the development, compliance and undertaking of the purchase contract for the products, items or services You have purchased or of any other contract with Us through the Service.
• To contact You: To contact You by email, telephone calls, SMS, or other equivalent forms of electronic communication, such as a mobile application's push notifications regarding updates or informative communications related to the functionalities, products or contracted services, including the security updates, when necessary or reasonable for their implementation.
• To provide You with news, special offers and general information about other goods, services and events which we offer that are similar to those that you have already purchased or enquired about unless You have opted not to receive such information.
• To manage Your requests: To attend and manage Your requests to Us.

We may share your personal information in the following situations:

• With Service Providers: We may share Your personal information with Service Providers to monitor and analyze the use of our Service, to show advertisements to You to help support and maintain Our Service, to contact You, to advertise on third party websites to You after You visited our Service or for payment processing.
• For Business transfers: We may share or transfer Your personal information in connection with, or during negotiations of, any merger, sale of Company assets, financing, or acquisition of all or a portion of our business to another company.
• With Affiliates: We may share Your information with Our affiliates, in which case we will require those affiliates to honor this Privacy Policy. Affiliates include Our parent company and any other subsidiaries, joint venture partners or other companies that We control or that are under common control with Us.
• With Business partners: We may share Your information with Our business partners to offer You certain products, services or promotions.
• With other users: when You share personal information or otherwise interact in the public areas with other users, such information may be viewed by all users and may be publicly distributed outside. If You interact with other users or register through a Third-Party Social Media Service, Your contacts on the Third-Party Social Media Service may see Your name, profile, pictures and description of Your activity. Similarly, other users will be able to view descriptions of Your activity, communicate with You and view Your profile.

Retention of Your Personal Data

The Company will retain Your Personal Data only for as long as is necessary for the purposes set out in this Privacy Policy. We will retain and use Your Personal Data to the extent necessary to comply with our legal obligations (for example, if we are required to retain your data to comply with applicable laws), resolve disputes, and enforce our legal agreements and policies.

The Company will also retain Usage Data for internal analysis purposes. Usage Data is generally retained for a shorter period of time, except when this data is used to strengthen the security or to improve the functionality of Our Service, or We are legally obligated to retain this data for longer time periods.

Transfer of Your Personal Data

Your information, including Personal Data, is processed at the Company's operating offices and in any other places where the parties involved in the processing are located. It means that this information may be transferred to — and maintained on — computers located outside of Your state, province, country or other governmental jurisdiction where the data protection laws may differ than those from Your jurisdiction.

Your consent to this Privacy Policy followed by Your submission of such information represents Your agreement to that transfer.

The Company will take all steps reasonably necessary to ensure that Your data is treated securely and in accordance with this Privacy Policy and no transfer of Your Personal Data will take place to an organization or a country unless there are adequate controls in place including the security of Your data and other personal information.

Disclosure of Your Personal Data

Business Transactions

If the Company is involved in a merger, acquisition or asset sale, Your Personal Data may be transferred. We will provide notice before Your Personal Data is transferred and becomes subject to a different Privacy Policy.

Law enforcement

Under certain circumstances, the Company may be required to disclose Your Personal Data if required to do so by law or in response to valid requests by public authorities (e.g. a court or a government agency).

Other legal requirements

The Company may disclose Your Personal Data in the good faith belief that such action is necessary to:

• Comply with a legal obligation
• Protect and defend the rights or property of the Company
• Prevent or investigate possible wrongdoing in connection with the Service
• Protect the personal safety of Users of the Service or the public
• Protect against legal liability

Security of Your Personal Data

The security of Your Personal Data is important to Us, but remember that no method of transmission over the Internet, or method of electronic storage is 100% secure. While We strive to use commercially acceptable means to protect Your Personal Data, We cannot guarantee its absolute security.

Detailed Information on the Processing of Your Personal Data

Service Providers have access to Your Personal Data only to perform their tasks on Our behalf and are obligated not to disclose or use it for any other purpose.

Analytics

We may use third-party Service providers to monitor and analyze the use of our Service.

Google Analytics

Google Analytics is a web analytics service offered by Google that tracks and reports website traffic. Google uses the data collected to track and monitor the use of our Service. This data is shared with other Google services. Google may use the collected data to contextualise and personalise the ads of its own advertising network.

You can opt-out of having made your activity on the Service available to Google Analytics by installing the Google Analytics opt-out browser add-on. The add-on prevents the Google Analytics JavaScript (ga.js, analytics.js and dc.js) from sharing information with Google Analytics about visits activity.

For more information on the privacy practices of Google, please visit the Google Privacy Terms web page: https://policies.google.com/privacy?hl=en

Advertising

We may use Service providers to show advertisements to You to help support and maintain Our Service.

Google AdSense DoubleClick Cookie

Google, as a third party vendor, uses cookies to serve ads on our Service. Google's use of the DoubleClick cookie enables it and its partners to serve ads to our users based on their visit to our Service or other websites on the Internet.

You may opt out of the use of the DoubleClick Cookie for interest-based advertising by visiting the Google Ads Settings web page: http://www.google.com/ads/preferences/

Email Marketing

We may use Your Personal Data to contact You with newsletters, marketing or promotional materials and other information that may be of interest to You. You may opt-out of receiving any, or all, of these communications from Us by following the unsubscribe link or instructions provided in any email We send or by contacting Us.

We may use Email Marketing Service Providers to manage and send emails to You.

Mailchimp

Mailchimp is an email marketing sending service provided by The Rocket Science Group LLC.

For more information on the privacy practices of Mailchimp, please visit their Privacy policy: https://mailchimp.com/legal/privacy/

Payments

We may provide paid products and/or services within the Service. In that case, we may use third-party services for payment processing (e.g. payment processors).

We will not store or collect Your payment card details. That information is provided directly to Our third-party payment processors whose use of Your personal information is governed by their Privacy Policy. These payment processors adhere to the standards set by PCI-DSS as managed by the PCI Security Standards Council, which is a joint effort of brands like Visa, Mastercard, American Express and Discover. PCI-DSS requirements help ensure the secure handling of payment information.

Stripe

Their Privacy Policy can be viewed at https://stripe.com/us/privacy

PayPal

Their Privacy Policy can be viewed at https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/ua/privacy-full

GDPR Privacy

Legal Basis for Processing Personal Data under GDPR

We may process Personal Data under the following conditions:

• Consent: You have given Your consent for processing Personal Data for one or more specific purposes.
• Performance of a contract: Provision of Personal Data is necessary for the performance of an agreement with You and/or for any pre-contractual obligations thereof.
• Legal obligations: Processing Personal Data is necessary for compliance with a legal obligation to which the Company is subject.
• Vital interests: Processing Personal Data is necessary in order to protect Your vital interests or of another natural person.
• Public interests: Processing Personal Data is related to a task that is carried out in the public interest or in the exercise of official authority vested in the Company.
• Legitimate interests: Processing Personal Data is necessary for the purposes of the legitimate interests pursued by the Company.

In any case, the Company will gladly help to clarify the specific legal basis that applies to the processing, and in particular whether the provision of Personal Data is a statutory or contractual requirement, or a requirement necessary to enter into a contract.

Your Rights under the GDPR

The Company undertakes to respect the confidentiality of Your Personal Data and to guarantee You can exercise Your rights.

You have the right under this Privacy Policy, and by law if You are within the EU, to:

• Request access to Your Personal Data. The right to access, update or delete the information We have on You. Whenever made possible, you can access, update or request deletion of Your Personal Data directly within Your account settings section. If you are unable to perform these actions yourself, please contact Us to assist You. This also enables You to receive a copy of the Personal Data We hold about You.
• Request correction of the Personal Data that We hold about You. You have the right to to have any incomplete or inaccurate information We hold about You corrected.
• Object to processing of Your Personal Data. This right exists where We are relying on a legitimate interest as the legal basis for Our processing and there is something about Your particular situation, which makes You want to object to our processing of Your Personal Data on this ground. You also have the right to object where We are processing Your Personal Data for direct marketing purposes.
• Request erasure of Your Personal Data. You have the right to ask Us to delete or remove Personal Data when there is no good reason for Us to continue processing it.
• Request the transfer of Your Personal Data. We will provide to You, or to a third-party You have chosen, Your Personal Data in a structured, commonly used, machine-readable format. Please note that this right only applies to automated information which You initially provided consent for Us to use or where We used the information to perform a contract with You.
• Withdraw Your consent. You have the right to withdraw Your consent on using your Personal Data. If You withdraw Your consent, We may not be able to provide You with access to certain specific functionalities of the Service.

Exercising of Your GDPR Data Protection Rights

You may exercise Your rights of access, rectification, cancellation and opposition by contacting Us. Please note that we may ask You to verify Your identity before responding to such requests. If You make a request, We will try our best to respond to You as soon as possible.

You have the right to complain to a Data Protection Authority about Our collection and use of Your Personal Data. For more information, if You are in the European Economic Area (EEA), please contact Your local data protection authority in the EEA.

Facebook Fan Page

Data Controller for the Facebook Fan Page

The Company is the Data Controller of Your Personal Data collected while using the Service. As operator of the Facebook Fan Page (https://www.facebook.com/connectthedotsginger/), the Company and the operator of the social network Facebook are Joint Controllers.

The Company has entered into agreements with Facebook that define the terms for use of the Facebook Fan Page, among other things. These terms are mostly based on the Facebook Terms of Service: https://www.facebook.com/terms.php

Visit the Facebook Privacy Policy https://www.facebook.com/policy.php for more information about how Facebook manages Personal data or contact Facebook online, or by mail: Facebook, Inc. ATTN, Privacy Operations, 1601 Willow Road, Menlo Park, CA 94025, United States.

Facebook Insights

We use the Facebook Insights function in connection with the operation of the Facebook Fan Page and on the basis of the GDPR, in order to obtain anonymized statistical data about Our users.

For this purpose, Facebook places a Cookie on the device of the user visiting Our Facebook Fan Page. Each Cookie contains a unique identifier code and remains active for a period of two years, except when it is deleted before the end of this period.

Facebook receives, records and processes the information stored in the Cookie, especially when the user visits the Facebook services, services that are provided by other members of the Facebook Fan Page and services by other companies that use Facebook services.

For more information on the privacy practices of Facebook, please visit Facebook Privacy Policy here: https://www.facebook.com/full_data_use_policy

CCPA Privacy

Your Rights under the CCPA

Under this Privacy Policy, and by law if You are a resident of California, You have the following rights:

• The right to notice. You must be properly notified which categories of Personal Data are being collected and the purposes for which the Personal Data is being used.
• The right to access / the right to request. The CCPA permits You to request and obtain from the Company information regarding the disclosure of Your Personal Data that has been collected in the past 12 months by the Company or its subsidiaries to a third-party for the third party's direct marketing purposes.
• The right to say no to the sale of Personal Data. You also have the right to ask the Company not to sell Your Personal Data to third parties. You can submit such a request by visiting our "Do Not Sell My Personal Information" section or web page.

The right to know about Your Personal Data. You have the right to request and obtain from the Company information regarding the disclosure of the following:

• The categories of Personal Data collected
• The sources from which the Personal Data was collected
• The business or commercial purpose for collecting or selling the Personal Data
• Categories of third parties with whom We share Personal Data
• The specific pieces of Personal Data we collected about You
• The right to delete Personal Data. You also have the right to request the deletion of Your Personal Data that have been collected in the past 12 months.

The right not to be discriminated against. You have the right not to be discriminated against for exercising any of Your Consumer's rights, including by:

• Denying goods or services to You
• Charging different prices or rates for goods or services, including the use of discounts or other benefits or imposing penalties
• Providing a different level or quality of goods or services to You
• Suggesting that You will receive a different price or rate for goods or services or a different level or quality of goods or services.

Exercising Your CCPA Data Protection Rights

In order to exercise any of Your rights under the CCPA, and if you are a California resident, You can email or call us or visit our "Do Not Sell My Personal Information" section or web page.

The Company will disclose and deliver the required information free of charge within 45 days of receiving Your verifiable request. The time period to provide the required information may be extended once by an additional 45 days when reasonable necessary and with prior notice.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information

We do not sell personal information. However, the Service Providers we partner with (for example, our advertising partners) may use technology on the Service that "sells" personal information as defined by the CCPA law.

If you wish to opt out of the use of your personal information for interest-based advertising purposes and these potential sales as defined under CCPA law, you may do so by following the instructions below.

Please note that any opt out is specific to the browser You use. You may need to opt out on every browser that you use.

Website

You can opt out of receiving ads that are personalized as served by our Service Providers by following our instructions presented on the Service:

• From Our "Cookie Consent" notice banner
• Or from Our "CCPA Opt-out" notice banner
• Or from Our "Do Not Sell My Personal Information" notice banner
• Or from Our "Do Not Sell My Personal Information" link

The opt out will place a cookie on Your computer that is unique to the browser You use to opt out. If you change browsers or delete the cookies saved by your browser, you will need to opt out again.

Mobile Devices

Your mobile device may give you the ability to opt out of the use of information about the apps you use in order to serve you ads that are targeted to your interests:

• "Opt out of Interest-Based Ads" or "Opt out of Ads Personalization" on Android devices
• "Limit Ad Tracking" on iOS devices

You can also stop the collection of location information from Your mobile device by changing the preferences on your mobile device.

"Do Not Track" Policy as Required by California Online Privacy Protection Act (CalOPPA)

Our Service does not respond to Do Not Track signals.

However, some third party websites do keep track of Your browsing activities. If You are visiting such websites, You can set Your preferences in Your web browser to inform websites that You do not want to be tracked. You can enable or disable DNT by visiting the preferences or settings page of Your web browser.

Children's Privacy

Our Service does not address anyone under the age of 13. We do not knowingly collect personally identifiable information from anyone under the age of 13. If You are a parent or guardian and You are aware that Your child has provided Us with Personal Data, please contact Us. If We become aware that We have collected Personal Data from anyone under the age of 13 without verification of parental consent, We take steps to remove that information from Our servers.

We also may limit how We collect, use, and store some of the information of Users between 13 and 18 years old. In some cases, this means We will be unable to provide certain functionality of the Service to these users.

If We need to rely on consent as a legal basis for processing Your information and Your country requires consent from a parent, We may require Your parent's consent before We collect and use that information.

Links to Other Websites

Our Service may contain links to other websites that are not operated by Us. If You click on a third party link, You will be directed to that third party's site. We strongly advise You to review the Privacy Policy of every site You visit.

We have no control over and assume no responsibility for the content, privacy policies or practices of any third party sites or services.

Changes to this Privacy Policy

We may update our Privacy Policy from time to time. We will notify You of any changes by posting the new Privacy Policy on this page.

We will let You know via email and/or a prominent notice on Our Service, prior to the change becoming effective and update the "Last updated" date at the top of this Privacy Policy.

You are advised to review this Privacy Policy periodically for any changes. Changes to this Privacy Policy are effective when they are posted on this page.

Contact Us

If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, You can contact us:

• By email: connectthedotsginger@gmail.com

Blessing In Disguise...

We have received more information about why this happened and how much of a blessing in disguise this actually was. If you missed what happen you can read my experiences with my 3rd miscarriage here. Crazy to think that it was a blessing but you will see...

Monday before discharge my doc came in to talk to us. Matt was there this time to hear all the lovely details. My doc repeated a lot of the same info he had told me, and I seemed better able to understand what he was saying and not so "out of it."

He told us how the placenta did detach from the uterus but not all the way. I passed the baby but not the placenta. I probably passed the baby around 11:30pm or so and continued to bleed until surgery which wasn't until after 1am. I started to hemorrhage because my body was trying to get the placenta out but it wouldn't release like it should have and I just had a gaping open wound that wasn't being able to close up. Thankfully I am a good blood clotter because I could have bleed out a lot sooner than I did. (I really think I was being watched over. It wasn't my time to go.) By the time I was in surgery I had lost 4 units of blood and it was still just coming out.

My doc said most people don't realize how lifesaving a D&E surgery can be. He stating again that I would have died before passing the placenta naturally, which is really freaky to think about for me and for my family.

My doc also mentioned that during the surgery that he noticed a funny smell to my placenta. I know that sound weird but that is often how an infection is found during surgery. My BFF K used to be an OR nurse and we were talking about it and it is a very pronounce smell that just isn't quite right. With the room as sterile as it is smells stand out. Doc is pretty sure that the reason why my placenta detached is because it was dying. It was infected. Therefore it was infecting the baby. Because it was so early in the pregnancy had I remained pregnant she wouldn't have survived, or would have had birth defects. And in regards to me the infection could have been a silent killer to me. I would have gotten really sick and they wouldn't have know to test my placenta for an infection. I could have gone septic and then also again, died from that. Or the infection could have infected my uterus and I could have lost it and lost the chance to have any more children. See what I mean. This miscarriage was a blessing in disguise. The placenta was sent to the pathology lab for testing and to confirm the infection but my doc is so awesome and knows what he is doing that we are pretty sure this is what it was. But we have not received the pathology report back yet.

What a strange turn of events. Obviously I have a guardian angel looking out for me and it certainly isn't my time to go just yet.

Oh and one more piece to the puzzle. Remember how I was spotting 2 weeks ago and that put me on bed rest so that I couldn't do the 10 miler. Doc said that had I had done the 10 miler, the placenta more than likely would have ripped more forcefully away causing a bigger hole. Mine ripped but not too much (remember the pop I felt). But had I been running I would have probably died on the course from blood loss right there. So HELLO, so glad I didn't do the race.

I have felt a weight lifted from me knowing this. And I feel ready to talk about my emotions I think. Give me another day or two to put it down but I certainly feel more at peace with what happened.

I have received an overwhelming response to Monday's post. I guess there just isn't a lot of miscarriage material out there. I have been thanked for sharing my story and for the strength that I have to relive it through writing it. But it needs to be done. I am so glad to share what I can. There is more to the miscarriage than I wrote but I wanted to spare people with the graphic details of the more unpleasant things I experienced. I pray I never have to go through anything like that again. But I am at peace now. I know that this was God's will and plan for me. This has helped strengthen me in ways I never knew could. And most of the strength I have felt have been from each of you. From the prayers to thoughts, it has truly been an amazing experience. Thank you friends for all of your support.

Our Loss

I am so sad to share with you that Saturday night I lost the baby. This is a very detailed account so if you don't want to continue reading stop here! You have been warned.

I have a lead in to it. As you know about 2 weeks ago I had some spotting. Baby was fine. No worries. We heard the heartbeat and it was fine. I asked the doctor. What do I do if the bleeding gets worse. He said that if something bad is going to happen that it is going to happen really quick. And we will know it.

I had my 13 weeks ultrasound NT scan to check for chromosomal deficiencies on Friday afternoon. SHE was just fine. That is right, the doc gave us an 80% chance that it was our little girl. We never saw anything out of the ordinary. I even asked him to look for why I was spotting the other week. Nothing. So I was clear to do a little exercise, or walking again.

Saturday, I volunteered at the Charlottesville 10 miler. If you can't join them, cheer them on! And then came home, rested and then started making a nice dinner for some friends who were coming over for dinner. Matt and I put the kids down for bed, they seemed extra tired a little earlier than normal, a blessing in disguise. And Matt and I went back downstairs to start cleaning up the mess from dinner.

That is when I felt it. Too much stuff down there. I ran to the bathroom and the bleeding wouldn't stop. I called a church friend and neighbor and before I finished saying, "C I need you to come over and help." She was already running out of her house to come over. She stayed the whole night with 2 kids who knew that something wasn't right.

Matt sped to the ER close to our home and we were admitted. The bleeding stopped for a little while. We waited for the nurse to come in a take my vitals and they tried to listen to the heartbeat and they couldn't find it, but I was feeling her kicking at me. So I knew she was ok. I got an ultrasound and the tech showed me right away her heartbeat and bouncing up and down. She was ok. Just fine. Then the tech did her job trying to find out what was going on. She kept commenting on how active the baby was.

We got sent back to our room and waited and waited. About 30 min later. I felt this POP! in my lower abdomen and I just started gushing liquid. I cried out because I couldn't control it and it frankly it scared the crap out of me! The entire ER staff came rushing in. The doc said that in the ultrasound they saw that the amniotic sac was already protruding down through the cervix and a miscarriage was imminent. And was starting. I started crying. FREAKING OUT is more like it. I continued to have these surges of gushes over the next few hours.

Before some of the gushes I would get a severe cramp and my ears would clog up. I started to feel dizzy and became delirious. My blood pressure dropped significantly and the docs started to pump me full of fluids to get my BP up and stabilized. I was begging for some drugs and they wouldn't give me any. I also was begging for water. I was so thirsty and I was refused that too. They said that they didn't want me to get sick.

I had 4 rounds of my BP dropping quite a bit and lots of blood. At some point I passed the baby, but they never told me when. But I was still bleeding quite a bit even after the baby. By the 4th BP drop they were getting concerned. They took my blood levels again to compare my beginning levels. I had lost 3 units of blood. That is a lot in their speak. They called my OB who they had been talking to and told him my blood levels. He requested that I be transferred to the main hospital to be examined by him, and possible surgery. Things were getting serious at this point. They did another blood pull before I left. Just as I was strapped up in the gurney for the ambulance.

I rode with lights and sirens to the hospital about 2o min away, it is faster when all the lights are green for you! Got to the ER at the hospital and was told I was scheduled for surgery for a D&E. Where they go in and scrape out anything that won't come out on their own. I got admitted by the OR people and went back. Got oxygen and don't even remember falling asleep. Next thing I knew I was in recovery. They told me that the surgery lasted 30 min, 15 min longer than I was originally told. And that I did very well.

My doc came in and said that I had a placenta abruption and that it is a very serious thing. Basically the placenta detached from the uterus. That is the cause of the gushing of blood. But not all of the placenta had detached. and that was very serious. When that happens, the uterus can not clamp down all the way and a large gaping hole is exposed and pumping blood out and won't close like it is supposed to. My doc said that by the time I got to surgery I had lost over 4 units of blood. (I later learned that is equal to 1/4 of all my blood in my body and is quite a bit!) And had I not had the surgery when I did, I might not have made it. He saved my life.

Fast forward to after. I was admitted as a patient to the hospital. When my doc came in the next morning. I had been having more dizzy spells every time I went to the bathroom and just felt weak and just out of it. I signed blood transfusion paperwork just in case I would need it. Never did. My blood work came back as severely anemic but not as bad as I was just a few hours prior. My body was building it back up on it's own. All day Sunday I was still dizzy if I sat up too long, or got up to go to the bathroom. I had a lovely extended stay at the hospital for another night for monitoring and getting released this morning to go home.

It was a very traumatic experience to go through. I left out some details about the miscarriage on purpose. If you are ever curious about that let me know and we can talk but it was so hard to go through that.

How am I doing? I am an emotional wreck. I actually found a way to cope with my emotions by avoiding one topic about the miscarriage of how I am feeling and basically flipped my emotion switch to off until I am ready to deal with what happened emotionally. I need to let my body heal. It is kind of a weird feeling being emotionally separated. Not to say I am not sad but I have had some pretty awful feelings that I just can't handle right now.

I have been grieving in my own way. My family has been grieving. My boys have been with church family all day Sunday and Sunday night. They will go with another family Monday as well. my church is really taking care of me. My sis in law arrives tomorrow morning after a red eye train ride. She will leave on Wednesday evening and that is when my mother arrives to help out for the next week. Including the church I am feeling very blessed and loved with all of the support we have received in this very difficult time in our lives.

I will miss being pregnant. I already feel hollow and empty. I had been feeling her kick for the last 2.5 weeks and now nothing. Just a flabby tummy where my belly had already started to expand. I will miss not having my little girl join our family in September as I was so excited for her to do. But someday we will have another child and hopefully it will be our little girl. Please forgive my lack of posts lately as I am deal with this. I thank you for sticking around and for your support. You love is felt 10 fold and it gives me strength that I didn't know I had. Thank you my friends.

**Update: We have received some new information on how this miscarriage might actually have been a blessing in disguise. Read about it out here.

Want more daily motivation and inspiration? Click here get free advice, support and encouragement + a free copy of my Clean Eating guide to help you get started on your health and fitness journey! 

Wake-Up Workout

I love my bed in the morning, and on cool mornings like this I just don't want to get out of bed. So why not start your morning with a little workout right in your bed! Check out below to start your day right! Happy morning! 

The "NO" Syndrome

Why is it that when you are told "NO" in doing something that it is the only time that you want to actually do what you are told not to do?

I feel like a kid. "Don't push that red button!" "Don't jump on your bed?" Seriously, my legs were burning all day yesterday to go running. It is so weird. Have I had this insane desire to go running the past week or so while my kids have been sick and I have been exhausted from taking care of a sick family? A little, but not like this. My legs last night were seriously on FIRE wanting to go running. And I can't.

I am ok with that because I want to do what is best for the baby. But I guess that my legs didn't get the memo.

So right now, running and exercise in general is on hold until the 20th until I have my ultrasound. It is going to be a long 8 days. At least I know that I still want to keep exercising. Maybe this is the turning point in my pregnancy where I will get some of my energy back and will be able to make it to the gym on a regular basis. This modified bed rest momma can only hope!

Just Roll With It

This pregnancy has been HARD! I have suffered from massive migraines, morning sickness, motion sickness while on exercise machines and just overall exhaustion. No wonder, I am making a baby, nursing another baby and trying to train for my 10 miler which is only 10 days away.

Sadly today, I was told that one of those things has to go.

I had some spontaneous spotting today. I was doing nothing. Just relaxing, as I had just told Matt. Needless to say it ended up with me going to my doc 2 days earlier than my regularly scheduled appointment for the week. I was freaking out. A crying mess. I can't go through another miscarriage. Is all I kept saying in my mind.

Thankfully my doc's office got me in right away. I didn't even have to sit out in the waiting room. I was sent right back. Doc did an exam. Noticed the bleeding. Then he said that my uterus is growing and has already popped out of my pelvis (I'm just shy of 12 weeks and that happens at 12 weeks).

Next came the doppler. We needed to hear the heart beat. Doc was listening. I reminded him about my tilted backwards uterus. So he did some pushing on my belly and then we heard this thump. Thump, thump. Like his hand knocking the doppler, but it wasn't. He said, "I think that is the baby kicking." Then a few more thumps. "Yep, that's the baby. Now where is your heartbeat little feisty baby!" Then within just a few seconds he found the solid strong heartbeat.

Doc said that I had a ruptured blood vessel and that since we heard the baby's heartbeat, and it was kicking that everything is fine. HOWEVER, I am on a modified bed rest. UGH! First thing I asked, making sure that the baby was fine, then I asked, "so no 10 miler this year." NOPE. And guess what. I am a little sad about it because I have been training my butt off for that run and have already run most of the course but for the safety of the baby and for me, it is just going to have to give.

10 days away from my big race I have been planning and prepping for since, what? Last summer. Is now not happening. I will be volunteering though. Helping out in anyway I can. Here is the thing, there are other 10 milers. I know I can do it now and I am kind of strangely excited to run the race, next year, or when it is right for me. But for now. Time to take it easy. Take care of my baby growing inside me and enjoy the fact that my baby is fine.

I am excited though, because in 9 days, I will get to see this feisty little one again with my next ultrasound. I will keep you all posted and can't wait to share the pictures then!

Thanks for reading along and following along in this crazy adventure of my life!