PCOS and Infertility: My Story

After my recent announcement you probably wouldn't believe that I did suffer from infertility for 9 years. It is true. Matt and I were married in 2002 and by 2003 I was off birth control and trying to get pregnant. Mid 2003 we went to my doctor's office and they told me that the best way to get pregnant was to lose 10-15 lbs. Keep in mind I was not super heavy at this point. I had gained maybe 10 lbs by the time we had gotten married. I was upset. And talked with a friend who told me to go see her doctor who specialized in infertility.

I visited that doctor and took all the test and ultrasounds and on the ultrasound, there it was. The Ring of Pearls around both ovaries. The doctor went over my blood results and said that I had a hormone imbalance which made it difficult for my body to know when to release an egg. Basically, my body didn't know when to start producing the hormones to tell my body to make an egg and then when to release it. So all the eggs just started lining up around my ovaries. She also advised that PCOS is related with insulin levels. My insulin levels were fine. (and incorrect insulin levels can make you gain weight and make it more difficult to lose weight.)

She put me on some clomid as part of my way to get me to ovulate. The first month I ovulated but nothing happened. No pregnancy. The second month I had a cyst and we had to stop clomid for the month. The next month after that we took a break again. I was getting frustrated. We gave up for the time being. And moved up north to Flagstaff, AZ where I started seeing a new doctor who said he was a fertility specialists. WRONG! He gave me high dosage of Clomid and didn't monitor me. He diagnosed me by looking at me and said I had PCOS because of facial hair. I was on clomid straight for 7 months. And he had me take Metformin which is an insulin regulator. I had a ruptured cyst that put me in the hospital and my periods were the worst they have ever been.  And the mood swings, Matt wanted to volunteer to go to Afghanistan to get away from me. I am a red head, my temper is already pretty short so it was really BAD! Looking back I feel like I had a black veil over me. Everything was just tainted differently than it should have been. It was not good and that 7 months was the worst of our marriage. We fought more than we ever had and he didn't even want to touch me!

We gave up, in the sense of no more doctors at least for awhile. Still stayed on Metformin and started to gain weight. So this was 2006. By 2010, Matt was deployed and had a strong impression that we needed to find another doctor to get started on our family. A good family friend had gotten pregnant by a REAL Endocrinologist (hormone doc) and I called that doc. I met with the doc, told them about my experiences and that I REFUSED to go on clomid because it was so awful for me! The doc agreed and told me what he suggested. Regular monitoring and I was going to take hormone shots to jump start my body. Instead of putting a hormone into my body tricking it to do something (clomid) We were going to shoot me up with the actual hormone to make my body do something! I took some other tests to make sure that all the pipes were clean and working, and Matt was gone for 2 more months anyhow so we had a little time to kill. I did do one round of shots before he got home as a control to figure out dosing and make sure it even worked. Well it did work but not as fast as we wanted it to. So for the first "real" round my dosing was upped. I was getting blood tests very frequently, so much so I have a preferred vein I like to use and it is named "Old Faithful!" And every time I have to go have my blood taken I tell the vampires where it is at and that it is deep but works every time. Half the time I get stuck in the blind because they can't find it but it works every time, when they trust what I say and listen to me.

Anyhew, that round worked but I didn't get pregnant after Matt got home. I had to skip a month due to going out of town. The next month we decided to pair the hormones with my first IUI (inter uterine implantation) They take Matt's soldiers, clean them, and then implant them directly into my uterus using a catheter up there. The soldiers still have to "find the egg" as it were and do their job. Not an IVF where they take the egg from the female and the guys soldiers and combine them together outside of the body then implant the eggs back into the female for implantation.

We were going to find out on our Anniversary if the IUI worked. Sadly it didn't. We also had word from Matt's military that he was going to be deployed in October to Iraq. So we didn't have enough time by the time my cycle came around to do another round before a HUGE trip we had been planning on doing. So we did our HUGE 2.5 week trip to Disney World and then a cruise to the Caribbean. We had a great time. I got pampered by my husband. We went on 2 amazing tours of WDW and the cruise was more fun than we ever dreamed. I got massages and acupuncture while on the cruise. We found out that his deployment was postponed for the time being. YES! And the day after we got home my cycle started!

I called my doc and told them and they got me started on the shots by day 3. We were rolling. And everything was happing way faster and better than it had the other 3 rounds. By 2 weeks we were ready to go. Halloween I took my HCG shot to trigger ovulation, (ouch, that one HURTS!) and November 2nd was my IUI! 2 weeks later we found out we were pregnant with Mason! It worked. Since then I have had 3 spontaneous pregnancies. 1 resulting in another baby, Collin.

When I was doing the fertility treatment I was exercising and I had lost 35 lbs. I was below 200 when I got pregnant, just below but I was in the 190's range! I was running. Eating wasn't all that great but I was still learning what to put in my body. I wasn't eating the rights amounts or kinds of foods really. When I found out I was pregnant with Mason I stopped exercising because I didn't want to lose Mason. Worse mistake I ever did! And I started eating food again (I was on slim fast to control my calories.) I wish I didn't do that! And I didn't exercise prior to getting pregnant with my 2 next pregnancies which both ended in miscarriage. With Collin I was very active and stayed that way. Now I am trying to do the same, if my morning sickness will allow me!

What is cool though I had been told by my 3rd fertility doc; the one that got me to work, he said that sometimes when a woman with PCOS get pregnant and has a baby it can jump start her body to doing what it should be doing, regular ovulation and periods. I hoped it would and was surprised when it did. Now we can't turn me off. But you know what, I am amazed with my body that it is working and that I have 2 healthy boys and another on the way. I pray everyday that me and the Baby are watched over and protected and that if it is God's will that I can continue to carry the baby and have it part of my family.

I promise you that if you were told that you have PCOS you can still have children. It might take some time, but it can still happen. My advice to you, find healthy activities to do and a great meal plan and stick with it. It is good for your body and good for you when you do get pregnant. Just hang in there. I know how you feel. The sadness that you get when you see other people with babies. Or hear how so-and-so didn't even try and they now have 3 kids when you don't have any. Or the pressure from your family or religion to pop babies out. I get it. I was there for 9 years. Wishing, hoping and praying that I would have a child of my own. Never really thought that I would have 3 though after it taking so long just to get one. In the end, learn to love yourself, forgive yourself because you will be secretly mad at yourself because you can't be like a "normal" woman and have babies. And enjoy life with your partner. Babies will come.

My stats:
9 years of waiting
3 fertility doctors (1 real one)
54 shots in my belly
2 IUI's
6 pregnancies
3 live babies

****UPDATE 10/15/15
I miscarried pregnancy #5 on March 21st at just shy of 14 weeks pregnant. It was a very hard miscarriage and almost took my life because it was so traumatic. Hoping that we can get pregnant again soon though.

******* Update 9/29/16
I birthed a healthy 7 pound 5 ounce baby girl today! Elyse Cheyenne. She is my rainbow baby after my traumatic miscarriage last year. She had the exact same due date as my pregnancy last year and decided to make us wait and force her out. Born at 41 weeks 1 day.

Pregnant In Running Shoes...AGAIN!

Can you believe it? Can I believe it? NOPE! I think I am still in shock at seeing that second line on the test!

~So was this planned? Not this early! No, we knew we were going to have another child, and that it would be close in age to Collin, but we never, ever, LIKE EVER! Thought it would be this close to having Collin. Collin and Baby #3 will be 16 months apart. I was hoping to get pregnant around March-May. But apparently the big guy up top had other ideas for us.

~How did you find out? At the beginning of Jan we went to Collin's 6 month check up and he had lost weight. So I was really pushing nursing like crazy with him. Then all the sudden I wasn't producing like, anything. Kid was crying at the end of every nursing session because he wasn't getting enough. 2 days later of this and being exhausted, I sent Matt to the store to get some tests because I just didn't feel right. I felt off and I wanted to prove that pregnancy was not in the picture. I was still nursing. No way I could still get pregnant. WRONG! I took a test that night, it was a Friday night. And I got a super faint line. I told Matt and he said that he wouldn't believe it till it was "morning pee." (morning pee is more undiluted pee and is supposed to give more accurate results.) So the next morning I took another test and the test was a little darker. (not much but there was definitely a line.) Matt then said he would believe the test on Monday morning after waiting a few days. "It could be a false positive!" he would say as he and I were in utter and complete SHOCK!

Monday morning rolled around and I took another test. The line this morning was much darker. I was concerned about nursing and wasn't sure about continuing nursing or even if my progesterone was at the right levels to sustain a pregnancy. (I had to take progesterone pills with my other pregnancies to sustain them) So I called my OB/GYM up that day and they decided to see me the next day.

I went in. Got an exam and check up and had my blood drawn. That evening I got the results of my test, called personally from my doc which usually isn't a good sign, and he said that it was 27 and that that could be normal for a very early pregnancy and for me to go back on Friday to get a second draw to make sure it doubled in that time. Time crawled by till Friday. I took another pee test (Matt got 6) on Thursday and the line was EVEN DARKER! Friday rolled around and got poked in the arm. Later that day, we got a call from the nurse and she said my numbers more than doubled. I was at 124! So baby was sticking. And my progesterone was fine. No suppositories! YEA!

Since then I have just been sitting on this news, dying to tell all of you!

Hard part though, I have been very sick with morning sickness. It seems to be getting worse ever single week. I even missed my 8 mile run this morning because of it and my INSANE migraines I have been getting. They are AWFUL! So I am still planning on doing the 10 miler next month. There isn't a time limit on it but I will be doing it. After that I have smaller races and can do them easy peasy. I just want to get past all the puking and dry heaving stage!

~How far along am I right now. Tomorrow I will be 8 weeks. I am announcing earlier than I would like, but I figured I need to be grateful for this amazing blessing. This was a surprise. A true blessing and I just can not hide it in any longer!

~What is your official due date? Well, this past Thursday, I went in for my 8 week check up. We didn't know my due date (since I am nursing, and I didn't remember my last period) so I got sent to the hospital for a dating ultrasound. I got to see our little gummy bear and the heart beat and based on the size of the embryo, I am due September 27.

I am so thankful for you sticking around with me and continuing to follow me. Again, my goal for this pregnancy is to remain as fit and healthy as possible. I still hadn't lost all the baby weight from Collin. I figured I had a few months to lose it before I got pregnant again and well, nope! So I am starting out this pregnancy even heavier than I ever wanted to start a pregnancy. I am almost at my end pregnancy weight I was with both boys. That scares me to death. So my goal is to remain as active as possible, do more exercises that spot certain areas of my body that I know get bigger, my thighs and BUTT! and to continue eating a healthy diet. (failing in that right now because sweets are just amazing, well some of them, and I am having a hard time eating meat in general.) So lots of eggs right now and I have been enjoying fresh fruit and green smoothies. Here is to the next 9 months!

From Fat to Fit

This year is THE YEAR that I am going to get my eating under control and make a difference in myself. I have been saying this for months but it is finally time I get off my butt and actually do it! Not just dream about it. I have gone from being overweight to thinner then back up and down now for 4 years. (I was just overweight for years before that!) Yes I am calling myself overweight because I am considered overweight by BMI and I am frankly just carrying around way too much fat on my body. As you have heard me say a lot over the last 2 weeks, I AM HURTING! My body hurts. I am trying to do something good for it, exercise, and my body HATES me right now! Does that mean I am going to stop? NOPE! I refuse to. I am going to kick my sweet tooth, and not overindulge in pastries. I am going to feed my body the food that it wants and needs.

~2002, I wasn't thin but wasn't fit either.~

Here is my story. I was diagnosed with PCOS 10 years or so ago. It's been a really long time. I went to my doc and they said if I want to get pregnant I need to just lose weight. I never did. I just stayed around the same weight.

~2008~

4 years ago I decided I needed to make a change. We were married for 8 years and hadn't had a kid and I was getting worried and upset and I really wanted to have children So I found and worked with a great personal trainer. I lifted weights, I did cardio and after months of little change I decided to do a test and tried a controlled diet of Slim Fast, I lost 20 lbs in 2 months. Then I started to run and continued to workout a ton.

~December 2009, about 2 months after I started with my personal trainer~

I stopped lifting weights and I just did 2 hours of cardio. I figured out that I burned more calories on the elliptical so I was doing 2 hours a day, 6 days a week, 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour at night. It killed me! It was hard. But I lost weight and I looked and felt like I was in the best shape of my life. I had lost 33 lbs. I was under 200. I was going to a fertility doctor and doing the shots so that we could do an IUI. A few months later I got pregnant with Mason. I was so freaked out about losing the baby that I stopped exercising and basically just relaxed for the next 9 months.

~July 2010 a few months before I got pregnant, 200 lbs~

I gained back the weight I lost while pregnant in about 2 months and I gained 35 more on top of that. So I was now up 50 lbs what I started. I had mason and tried to exercise when I could but my husband was deployed to Iraq (left when Mace was 3 days old) so exercise really didn't happen.

~Morning of my induction for Mason, child #1. 1 week early~

I refused to have my husband come home to me looking like I was. Still 40 lbs over what I was when I got pregnant. So, I found a nutritionist and followed her diet. I was eating a clean diet. I was eating more food at one meal than I had ever allowed myself to eat before and the weight fell off of me. It was magical. I was eating what my body wanted and trying to exercise more and I lost weight. After about 6 months I got to 203.

~April 2013, 2 weeks before miscarriage #2 and before I started running again. Started gaining weight here.~

Then I just let myself go. I thought, "Wow! I did it. I could do it again." Boy, was I wrong. I stopped watching what I ate and I ate breakfast really well, but eh not really the rest of my day. I started eating the foods I wanted to eat because they tasted good and that is what I wanted. I then got pregnant and miscarried twice. And I stopped exercising every time.

~Day after my first 1/2 marathon, so healthy and barely gained weight at this point in pregnancy.~

After my second miscarriage I gained more weight and was pissed that it was happening. So I started running. And kept running. Ran while pregnant. Did really well for the fist 30 weeks while training.Then I started to gain weight with the pregnancy

~2 days before baby #3 Collin arrived. 40 weeks 5 days was when he hatched~

Flash forward to now, to after second baby and I can't lose the weight. I'm stuck and have actually gone up not down in weight and size. Have I given up pastries completely? NO. Do I love ice cream and sweets? Yep. So the change happens now. Tomorrow is the grocery store and on Monday I start clean eating with my group and we are going to do this together. I know that if I want another child, which I do, I have to lose weight. That is just how my body and the hormones in my body work. I need to be exercising and smaller weight for the right hormones to work when they need to work to get pregnant.

~Here I am now, plus a little more weight, thanks to the holidays!~

So...Where does that leave me here. Well, if you ever been like this. Had PCOS. Have or had a hard time losing weight. Been overweight, lost weight, then overweight again. Yo-Yo diet. Tried everything. I am going to share what I have gone through and we can do this together! Let the journey of 2015 BEGIN! I AM worth fighting for!

2014 Year In Review

Here we are! At the end of an amazing year. And what a year it has been. This year has been full of so much joy and accomplishment, as well as needing to give myself a kick in the BUTT! So here it is.

January marked me passing my half way point in my pregnancy. And training going strong for the ENTIRE MONTH! I had to train for my first 1/2 marathon. And I did it all while pregnant.

February had me planning for our Disney Trip and training and some days questioning my sanity to run in a 1/2 marathon at 29 weeks pregnant! And actually completing my very first 1/2 marathon. And doing something that I never actually thought I would ever do! (next time regardless of how I feel, I WILL take a great happy shot of my medal. Kicking myself over that one for sure!)

March was all about baby and getting ready to have one. Getting the room set up and feeling more prepared.

April was about tying up my studio for the year so that I could take 3 months off from teaching. Looking back, I really think that this month was pretty good for me. I also became an Ambassador for Girls Gone Sporty! I love being part of networks with like minded people and I have learned so much from the amazing awesome women who are part of this!

May, I felt like I was the white rabbit always checking my calendar and watch for when baby will arrive. And even did some late term pregnancy running to GET THE BABY OUT! And thankfully we welcomed baby Collin into our family and he was healthy and happy after just a short little scare. But all was well. I had my no drugs needed labor and was able to get up and walk to the NICU, unassisted, 30 minutes after having him to be with him.

June and July I rested and recovered. I did help out with the local Woman's 4 miler training program and another local race on July 4th with Collin in attendance. I didn't start actually running until after August though. I also became a Beachbody Coach to help motivate people one on one  and to achieve their weight loss and lifestyle goals!

August I started running again, as best as I could with still recovering. And I ran in the Woman's 4 Miler again!

September, I became an Ambassador with FitFluential. An origination that I had been trying to be part of for a year! I love working with them and so thankful that we are working together and love meeting and reading all about my fellow ambassadors.

October, November and December have been a roller coaster of training and not training. Still dealing with my body not liking me running, still have issues to this day, more on that later. I have lost motivation and gained it. I have not lost my baby weight either. But I am not perfect. I am human. I am still trying everyday to do better and some days are better and some not so much. But overall it has been a pretty AMAZING year for me!

I am so excited for the amazing goals I have set for 2015 and can't wait to share all of them with you. I am so thankful for the wonderful blessings I got in 2014 and for my healthy family. Thank you so much for joining me on my journey because I love hearing from you and knowing that someone is reading. Here's to 2014. And because it is worth fighting for let's make our dreams come true in 2015!

WE ARE HAVING A...

We are so excited to be welcoming another boy to our family. It will be easy right? I already have clothing thanks to Mace. I already have a ton of boy toys and things that we knew we would use for multiple babies, like the car seat, pack n play, crib, high chair, were all gender neutral so I was good at prepping for that.

Now, to paint Mason's new big boy room and get his new bed and bedding and that room all ready. Also to convert the toddler bed/crib back to a baby crib and put the cute bumper on and all the decorations. If I am feeling ambitious maybe I will paint the baby's room too. ( we still haven't painted anything in the house.) Go through clothing, sort. Go through all the baby gear. Get a swing, and an Ergo Baby carrier. Let the fun begin!

Oh, and a name, Yeah we have that too. His name will be Collin. We are so excited for him to join our family around 17 weeks and 1 day, give or take a few days, from now!

How Wonderful Life Is

So in November the popular thing on Facebook to do is post everyday what you are thankful for. As I think this is a great idea, I just don't keep up with it in the month. So here are a couple of things in which I am thankful for today! I will do some more next week. How about that just a couple every week! That works for me!

1. My hubby. I love my husband so much! He is an amazing man. He goes to work super early in the morning just so he can be back earlier in the day to spend more time with Mason and me. He has been deployed 4 times overseas and has sacrificed a lot of time with me and Mason to help take care of us, and to serve our Country with honor! He treats me like a princess when half the time I don't deserve it. I am so glad that we had the 9 years together to have fun and play and now we have started our "next phase of marriage". Having kids! We make sacrifices for each other and have grown stronger everyday! So glad to have him in my life! Best choice I ever made, marrying my hubby!

2. Mason. It might have taken forever to get him, but there is a reason for all things. I got to spend wonderful years with Matt, now I get to spend some wonderful years with my children and Matt. It is just a different stage of life. You make me frustrated, work on my patience,  confused, worried, and scared all in one day, but you make me love you, smile, laugh, play, and just show me how much love you have for me all in the same day. Parenting is hard. It is a trial. but it is oh, so worth it. Just to hear you laugh because I made you. Or when you had your first smile, because you thought I was being silly. When you come running up to me pointing to your hand or foot for me to kiss it better and after 1 kiss it is magically healed. I love being a mom! I love it. I love being Mason's mom and look forward to baby #2 joining our family.

So Young...

Yesterday was my 11th wedding anniversary. I changed my profile picture on Facebook to be the picture at the top of this post. Man, I look at this picture and think I look so young. Not as many little lines on my face, my skin is AMAZING, and nearly freckle free, (unless you get up close and personal.) But I look so...young. I was 20 when we got married so I was young. I was also about 40 lbs lighter than I am now. (I honestly didn't know my weight because I found someone who loved me for me and didn't care) 

After this point is when I started to gain weight. I was happy to be cooking for my husband! I was so happy to be married and I thought, we would get pregnant right away and I would lose the weight anyways once I started breast feeding like my sister in law did. HA! It took us 8 years to get pregnant and many, many more pounds. I gained nearly 60 lbs from when I got married, lost them, then got pregnant. 

Anyhew, back to the picture. I might have been skinnier but I am in far better shape now than I ever have been. I have accomplished more athletically in the past couple of months than I ever have in my life. I am so happy with my life. I still have the wonderful man I married, who still loves me and loves me more than that day. I have a beautiful son who was worth every minute of the wait. I have learned to push myself and accomplish what I thought many years ago were impossible for me to try. I AM PROUD TO BE ME! 

QOTD: What have you learned the most about yourself in the past decade? I have finally learned self respect and confidence. 

Welcome!

Welcome to my new running and all things fit adventure blog. I know I don't look like a runner. Not yet at least. But I am getting there. I am new to the running world learning and running more and more everyday. (Maybe not running quite everyday)

My back story. Why I wanted to run.

I have always wanted to run. I remember back in the 7th grade that I ran 1 mile without stopping. 1 mile. It also was at 4:30 in the afternoon in the blazing heat of Arizona and I wanted to get back inside. I knew the faster I ran the sooner I would be back inside. So I high tailed it around the track and finished super fast. That was my first and only mile run until I was 28 years old.

At 28 my husband was deployed and I needed something else to keep me busy. No kids yet and teaching piano was fun but I needed something for me and needed to get my big butt in shape. Got a personal trainer and after about 6 months of personal training I started running. I lost 30 lbs and got below 200 lbs. It only lasted for a few months because we became pregnant with our first son through the help of fertility treatment. I only walked during the pregnancy because it took 8 years to get pregnant and I didn't want anything to happen. So walk I did.

Husband got deployed to Iraq when our son was 3 days old and I didn't have family around so no more gym. It took 2 more years and heartbreak to get my big butt again back into shape. May of 2013 I suffered my second miscarriage in a year and I had made it to almost 12 weeks pregnant. The pregnancy was so stressful. Went to the doctor all the time for blood work. Husband was in AZ for training the entire time I was pregnant. Day before Mother's Day I miscarried. Broke my heart, my faith, and I became angry. Plus I gained 12 lbs. So I had the 12 lbs plus what I was still trying to lose from my first son. NOT GOOD! I was not happy.

There were signs up all over town about a local 5k on June 1st. 3 weeks after my miscarriage I walked my first 5k. 2 weeks after that I joined the local Women's 4 miler training program. 1 week after that I signed up for my first 1/2 marathon and 4 miler.

I am now 2 weeks away from the Women's 4 miler and rocking it. I am run/walking 4 miles comfortably now and look forward to signing up and joining the 10 miler training program this fall. So that's my story. The rest from here on out is going to be my amazing journey of self discovery and motivation. I hope I can motivate you in any way to change your lifestyle and try out a new sport!

QOTD (Quested of the day): Why do you run?