Thursday, April 23, 2015

Infertility Awareness Week


We are currently in the middle of infertility awareness week and I have had a hard time getting up the strength to continue to talk about it at this time. I have been pretty open, but to be honest I am still learning to cope with what I went through. Multiple miscarriages is still considered infertility problems.

I am talking with others and trying to work through my feeling and emotions. I am keeping a journal right now that is just an ongoing non stop journal. I have titled it The Ramblings After A Miscarriage. I just recently showed it to my hubs and had him read it.

But yesterday evening just before I put the kids down for bed. I read this article. I couldn't even get through it without balling. I tried reading it out loud for Matt to hear and I just lost it. It pretty much sums up what I needed to hear right now. Especially the Create Space section.

I have had it in my mind that by such and such a date I should be all better. No more bleeding, no more running out of energy. No more dizzy spells or getting out of breath. And learning to deal with what I have already been through before. I put this time table on WHEN I SHOULD FEEL NORMAL. And honestly, I am past that "date" and I am frustrated. I am done feeling weak, broken. I just want to be normal but I still need time. Mentally and physically. It sucks. But there it is. It just takes time.

So please read this article to show your support for Infertility Awareness Week. Let me know what you think in the comments below! 




Please know I am so grateful for all of your support through prayers and emails or messages I have received. It has meant to so much to me. You are all amazing!

2 comments:

  1. Good article! Creating space is definitely important, as is acknowledging our right to grieve. After my first miscarriage, I didn't really grieve- I buried it as much as possible. After the second one, it all came out and I was forced to face it. Going to therapy helped a lot, but even after I reached the end of its usefulness and stopped going it took years before I was able to let go of all the pain and bitterness. For me that also meant selling or giving away almost all my maternity clothes and baby gear. That was a hard step, but one that I needed to take in my journey. I didn't fully reach the acceptance stage until 4 or 5 years after my second miscarriage, so having a timeline would not have been helpful for me. Realizing that things happen slowly, often a lot slower than we'd like, can make it easier to move through the process. I've seen this as my health has progressed, sometimes forward and sometimes backward, in the 6 years I've been gluten free because of finally finding out I had celiac. Back then, I thought I'd be completely healthy within 6 months. 6 years later, I'm in a much better place than I was, but there's still health issues I'm dealing with, and will probably continue to deal with for years to come. If you'd told me this back then, I would have totally been in denial, and it would have been discouraging. So I'm not sure that I'm being helpful- sorry! :)

    Stay positive and be patient with yourself :)

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    1. Oh Jen! You are being helpful. Knowing it can take some REAL time to get over this is a huge thing to hear. It took 3 months to learn acceptance with my last miscarriage but there was never a baby. This time it has been hard because I felt her kicking, I felt I knew her. There was life. It is devastating so knowing that it will take more time than I ever thought is HUGE for me to hear right now! Thank you for sharing!

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