Friday, January 2, 2015

From Fat to Fit


This year is THE YEAR that I am going to get my eating under control and make a difference in myself. I have been saying this for months but it is finally time I get off my butt and actually do it! Not just dream about it. I have gone from being overweight to thinner then back up and down now for 4 years. (I was just overweight for years before that!) Yes I am calling myself overweight because I am considered overweight by BMI and I am frankly just carrying around way too much fat on my body. As you have heard me say a lot over the last 2 weeks, I AM HURTING! My body hurts. I am trying to do something good for it, exercise, and my body HATES me right now! Does that mean I am going to stop? NOPE! I refuse to. I am going to kick my sweet tooth, and not overindulge in pastries. I am going to feed my body the food that it wants and needs.
~2002, I wasn't thin but wasn't fit either.~

Here is my story. I was diagnosed with PCOS 10 years or so ago. It's been a really long time. I went to my doc and they said if I want to get pregnant I need to just lose weight. I never did. I just stayed around the same weight.
~2008~

4 years ago I decided I needed to make a change. We were married for 8 years and hadn't had a kid and I was getting worried and upset and I really wanted to have children So I found and worked with a great personal trainer. I lifted weights, I did cardio and after months of little change I decided to do a test and tried a controlled diet of Slim Fast, I lost 20 lbs in 2 months. Then I started to run and continued to workout a ton.
~December 2009, about 2 months after I started with my personal trainer~

I stopped lifting weights and I just did 2 hours of cardio. I figured out that I burned more calories on the elliptical so I was doing 2 hours a day, 6 days a week, 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour at night. It killed me! It was hard. But I lost weight and I looked and felt like I was in the best shape of my life. I had lost 33 lbs. I was under 200. I was going to a fertility doctor and doing the shots so that we could do an IUI. A few months later I got pregnant with Mason. I was so freaked out about losing the baby that I stopped exercising and basically just relaxed for the next 9 months.
~July 2010 a few months before I got pregnant, 200 lbs~

I gained back the weight I lost while pregnant in about 2 months and I gained 35 more on top of that. So I was now up 50 lbs what I started. I had mason and tried to exercise when I could but my husband was deployed to Iraq (left when Mace was 3 days old) so exercise really didn't happen.
~Morning of my induction for Mason, child #1. 1 week early~

I refused to have my husband come home to me looking like I was. Still 40 lbs over what I was when I got pregnant. So, I found a nutritionist and followed her diet. I was eating a clean diet. I was eating more food at one meal than I had ever allowed myself to eat before and the weight fell off of me. It was magical. I was eating what my body wanted and trying to exercise more and I lost weight. After about 6 months I got to 203.
~April 2013, 2 weeks before miscarriage #2 and before I started running again. Started gaining weight here.~

Then I just let myself go. I thought, "Wow! I did it. I could do it again." Boy, was I wrong. I stopped watching what I ate and I ate breakfast really well, but eh not really the rest of my day. I started eating the foods I wanted to eat because they tasted good and that is what I wanted. I then got pregnant and miscarried twice. And I stopped exercising every time.
~Day after my first 1/2 marathon, so healthy and barely gained weight at this point in pregnancy.~

After my second miscarriage I gained more weight and was pissed that it was happening. So I started running. And kept running. Ran while pregnant. Did really well for the fist 30 weeks while training.Then I started to gain weight with the pregnancy
~2 days before baby #3 Collin arrived. 40 weeks 5 days was when he hatched~

Flash forward to now, to after second baby and I can't lose the weight. I'm stuck and have actually gone up not down in weight and size. Have I given up pastries completely? NO. Do I love ice cream and sweets? Yep. So the change happens now. Tomorrow is the grocery store and on Monday I start clean eating with my group and we are going to do this together. I know that if I want another child, which I do, I have to lose weight. That is just how my body and the hormones in my body work. I need to be exercising and smaller weight for the right hormones to work when they need to work to get pregnant.
~Here I am now, plus a little more weight, thanks to the holidays!~

So...Where does that leave me here. Well, if you ever been like this. Had PCOS. Have or had a hard time losing weight. Been overweight, lost weight, then overweight again. Yo-Yo diet. Tried everything. I am going to share what I have gone through and we can do this together! Let the journey of 2015 BEGIN! I AM worth fighting for!

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